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People Are Flipping Out Over The Revelation That Avocado Tastes Exactly Like "Clean Penis"

No, we are not okay.

I remember the days when internet trends were as simple as "What colors are this dress?" or "Avocado toast is good!"

NBC

I had way fewer nightmares back then.

Comedy Central

Alas, the year is 2021 and people are not okay™. This is the overall vibe:

@papermagazine

About to ruin my coworkers’ lives ❤️ #buffering #bookworm

♬ i miss the rage - 𖨆♡𖨆

So when the following video popped up on my TikTok, I was disturbed — but not surprised — by the latest "realization" making its way around social media. To sum it up, people are saying that avocado tastes like "clean" penis.

@just_m1chelle

I will never know peace again #avocado #nothankyou

♬ original sound - Michelle Butson

I put quotes around "clean" because...is anyone else troubled by the fact that this distinction needed to be made?!

Universal

But I digress. If you clicked on this post because you've never tasted a penis before and you wanted my personal input, you're shit out of luck. I am very single and it has been a long time since "clean penis" was on the menu. My memory is terrible and the only avocado I have is obviously a rotten one I bought three weeks ago that I'm too lazy to throw out.

Netflix

All I know is one of the two doesn't taste great and often ends with something that tastes even worse. The other is the key ingredient in guacamole (😍), so I'd prefer for these gustatory experiences to not be conflated.

VH1

In order to find the original source of this chaos, I had to do a little digging.

@gracie.malin

i have not known peace since reading that tweet #avocado

♬ original sound - Funny Tiktoks

There were murmurs of it starting on Twitter, so I got to searching. This was the oldest evidence I could find:

avocado tastes like clean dick pass it on

If you or someone you know was the original mastermind behind "avocado tastes like clean dick," speak now or forever hold your peace!

Paramount Vantage

Anyway, here are some tweets on the subject:

Ever since I found out avocado tastes like d*ck I can’t stop eating it

Twitter: @sls__01

avocado tastes like fresh dick i’m talking right out the shower

Twitter: @onlinegirlie

Somebody said avocado tastes like clean dick. Im just trying to see sum rq

Twitter: @MommyThiccums

One time I read a tweet saying “avocado tastes like clean dick” and I haven’t known peace since

Twitter: @marabeencroft

Do with this information what you will. 🥴