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76 WTF Thoughts You Had While Watching: Gotham

Season One, Episode 12: "What The Little Bird Told Him"

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Fox / Via Gotham

•Wow, I really wish that newspaper would slow down so I could actually read it.

•Is that a Johnny Cash song? That is definitely a Johnny Cash song.

•Electrocutioner and his bald henchmen are in full Ghostbusters regalia. Because nothing says "I'm not the the escaped lunatic you're looking for" like wearing a full-length PVC duster and a battery back strapped to your chest.

•Wait, did they just say that Gruber was arrested on a rape charge? Is that a relevant character thing or did they just throw in the rape to make him seem extra menacing?

Fox / Via Gotham

•The current Commissioner looks a lot like most adaptations of the future Commissioner Gordon. Go figure!

•Also he carefully over-enunciates "Officer Gordon" because every character on this show is in on the prequel gag.

•So Gruber just waltzes into his old electric lab and the giant scary megabattery he'd been keeping in there for however many years just boots up with no problem? There were a LOT of cobwebs in that lab, sir.

Fox / Via Gotham

•There's that aria again. There's only one aria in the entire Gotham universe and that's it.

•Is this baby Falcone at a funeral? Are we finally getting some backstory on him and it's that one time he went to a funeral?

•This explains everything! The crime, the mob, because one time he went to a funeral.

•And heard that aria.

•In the present, Falcone is not holding that umbrella anywhere NEAR Liza's head. Her hair is perfect, buddy. Do better.

•HE TRIED TO GIVE HER A BAKERY.

•Here, sweetheart, have a bakery.

•I'm still not over this. "How'd you get into the bakery business?" "It was a gift."

Fox / Via Gotham

•Fun Gotham game: drink every time there's a background hooker at Gotham PD.

•Stop everything, Harvey is wearing GLASSES. Swoon.

•He is really truly, ~wearing~ those glasses.

•I hope that Ed knows that a cupcake with a bullet in it is not actually a riddle. Like no, it's literally a cupcake with a bullet in it.

•What's the riddle? It's driving me crazy!

Fox / Via Gotham

•"Fried like a doughnut," says Harvey about a dead man.

•Fried like a doughnut is what happens when your weed guy goes on vacation but promises his cousin will hook you up.

•Liza is getting kidnapped and it could be literally anybody in the city doing it.

•How did it take that long for Falcone to find out about Liza being kidnapped? She was just walking down the street with him and I'm SURE he keeps a tail on her, honestly.

•"Let him sit and think about his life for a while"

^ That's what I do when I'm just about to break up with someone.

Fox / Via Gotham

•DOCTOR LESLIE IS BACK <3 <3 <3

•Harvey says he doesn't wear rubbers. Lol.

•I think Donal Logue improvises 60% of his dialogue.

•Root beer is currency for the functionally insane, apparently.

•Jim now owes Leslie a "double six-pack of root beer." So like a twelve pack?

•Wait that doll looked literally nothing like Maroni, how did they get "Yup, totally Don Maroni" from that doll's face?

•I would have been stumped.

Fox / Via Gotham

•Penguin just monologued into the middle distance. Which is weird, even for him.

–CAR COMMERCIAL WITH ROBIN LORD TAYLOR COMES ON–

•Oh my god, he actually sounds like that.

•I thought the voice was fake. Wow nope.

•He is the penguin in real life.

•He really is.

•~acting~

–CAR COMMERCIAL ENDS–

•With the exception of Harvey I can never see anyone on this show having a goal and then actually accomplishing it.

•Sorry, I'm still on the penguin voice. Deviated septum maybe? He's so cool.

•Barbara is back.

•On the bright side, skinny bearded not-Alfred butler seems pretty legit.

•"Are you happy?" asks Barbara's weird WASP mother.

"Yes," says Barbara, cementing the biggest lie in the history of television.

•At least now we know how she affords that mega apartment. Parents got the $$$$

•Actually, Jim referring to Gotham PD as the "best defended spot in Gotham" is the biggest lie in the history of television? Does he not remember Zsasz? Or when Maroni literally dictated jailhouse policy last week?

Fox / Via Gotham

•Finally Fish and Falcone are coming to some kind of head with their plot. "This charade has gone on for too long," says Falcone/Fish/ the fans of Gotham.

•VICTOR ZSASZ IS BACK. YES YES YES.

•I think bald is my type. I have a type now and it's totally, entirely bald.

• It's good to know these things about yourself

•Really? That was Nygma's riddle? That was a very obtuse riddle.

•Who is this random jock cop doing random jock cop stuff?

•Kris Kringle has a lot of nerve calling Ed weird because her name is literally Santa Christmas. Stay in your lane, girl.

•Electrocutioner/Gruber breaks into Gotham PD through the records room, probably because he doesn't know that criminals are basically allowed to walk in and grab muffins anytime they want.

•"Wow, we should have maybe built a single part of this police station out of wood or plastic or something," some very guilty-looking architect, probably.

•Is everyone dead? Everyone is dead.

•The end.

•-GOTHAM-

Fox / Via Gotham

•Ok, everyone is not dead. Gordon's alive and Gruber's stolen his gun with Magneto powers.

•WHERE DID GRUBER GET A RUBBER BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT? Is there a "rubber clothing for crazy people" store in Gotham?

•…Yes.

•Jim has watched The Wizard of Oz at least once and also has a basic understanding of electronics. Victory!

•"I'm done being careful" -Jim

"You think you were being careful before?!?!" - Harvey

•Harvey is us.

•We are Harvey.

Fox / Via Gotham

•Wait wait wait wait. Did Fish only audition two girls for the role of Falcone seductress and picked the second girl who showed up? When it's established today that Liza looks EXACTLY like Falcone's mother? Why did she make the girls fight if Liza was such a dead ringer for the mother? Why didn't she just pick Liza and skip the death match? That Fish cray.

•What exactly is Falcone signing right now? Crime paperwork? To make Fish official head of crime?

•Well it is organized crime...

•Also does everyone in this town know that Don Falcone is in love with his mother? You know a guy is scary if everybody knows that and still no one messes with him.

•He's very open about it.

•Victor is back! Again! With his goth-chic henchwomen!

•Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. Is he really- WOW. WOWOWOW.

•RIP Liza. You looked just like his mother :(

•Are they going to kill Fish too? NO. No you can't kill Fish! I won't stand for it!

•Fish??!!?!

•You know, I kind of ship Jim and Leslie solely because he's the protagonist and she's Morena Baccarin. Is that bad?

•She's the two-legged instant ship. Like Sean Bean is a two-legged death spoiler.

Fox / Via Gotham
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