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    Here's How To Apply To That "Adult Preschool" In Brooklyn

    Because I'm an adult with the heart of a baby and I want to learn.

    You may have seen our article on Michelle Joni Lapidos, the mastermind behind Brooklyn's Preschool Mastermind — a traditional preschool for adults.

    From finger-painting to show and tell, to nap time, the weekly classes make up a monthlong preschool curriculum designed to help you recapture your inner child.

    As a 31-year-old Brooklyn resident with a bad habit of taking life way too seriously, I knew this was my chance to finally loosen up and reconnect with what matters (clay, blocks, etc.)

    What follows is my real application to Preschool Mastermind. Miss Joni (also known as Miss Kitty) asks that you fill it out by hand, adding as many artistic flourishes as possible.


    As you can see, all the bright rainbow colors and blocky text make it fun and easy to read. You can fill it out yourself with this handy printable .pdf file.

    Miss Joni and Miss Cancan know that not all adult preschoolers can afford basic art supplies, much less childlike wonder, so they generously allow you to select how much you're willing to pay to get in.

    I chose the lowest amount: a reasonable $333. I figure this is roughly the cost of a Playstation 4, which I might use to accomplish the same effect of responsibility-free escapism, but with nothing to hang on the refrigerator afterward.

    First, they ask for some basic details.

    Then it gets a little more personal.

    So far, so good!

    Finally, let's get into the nitty gritty. Why should I — Daniel — be accepted into this child's preschool for adult women and men?

    (Nailed it.)

    Almost done! But the application cleverly ends with an opportunity for extra credit.

    I figure this can only help my chances. Show? Check. Tell? Double-check.

    Thank you for your consideration, adult preschool in Brooklyn. Wish me luck!

    UPDATE: My application has been rejected. Miss CanCan (the one with the teaching degree) got back to me around 1:00 am with this reply:

    Thumbnail: Hanna Agar / Via