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23 Viciously Funny Twitter Comebacks

Close encounters of the BURN kind. Call an ambulance.

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@EddieStrike I'm your father.

Dear Rihanna, you've gone a little too far with this 'outfit' http://t.co/zSKETVkk May be time to class it up and put some clothes on?

CELEBUZZ@CELEBUZZ

Dear Rihanna, you've gone a little too far with this 'outfit' http://t.co/zSKETVkk May be time to class it up and put some clothes on?

6:10 PM - 18 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

Rihanna@rihanna

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

9:01 PM - 18 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

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I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

James Blunt@JamesBlunt

I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

1:37 PM - 08 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (1).

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

David Cameron@David_Cameron

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

10:31 AM - 07 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

CHWIS@whitesweed

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

3:52 PM - 29 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

4:28 PM - 06 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@piersmorgan I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

Gary Lineker@GaryLineker

@piersmorgan
I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

4:39 PM - 06 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

Tom Anderson@myspacetom

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

12:37 AM - 20 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

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@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

Tom Anderson@myspacetom

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

1:11 AM - 20 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

Rio Ferdinand@rioferdy5

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

4:24 PM - 31 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

knicker sniffer 86@Scouselikebread

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

4:30 PM - 31 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. David Cameron vs. Rob Delaney and Sir Patrick Stewart.

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I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

David Cameron@David_Cameron

I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

8:18 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

rob delaney@robdelaney

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

10:09 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

Patrick Stewart@SirPatStew

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

10:30 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

Justin PUi@HotPikachuSex

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

12:12 AM - 07 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.

SEGA@SEGA

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.

1:01 AM - 07 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

Nickelback@Nickelback

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

1:10 AM - 22 Jan 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .

Oprah Winfrey@Oprah

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .

3:11 PM - 17 Apr 09ReplyRetweetFavorite

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

Frankie Muniz@frankiemuniz

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

12:06 AM - 17 Sep 10ReplyRetweetFavorite

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

michael owen@themichaelowen

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

9:42 PM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

9:44 PM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (2).

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

David Cameron@David_Cameron

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

12:18 PM - 01 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@David_Cameron Fuck off, Moontwat.

The first million is the hardest.

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

T. Boone Pickens@boonepickens

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

1:00 AM - 31 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

The Sun@TheSunNewspaper

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

8:27 AM - 11 Jun 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

Rihanna@rihanna

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

5:27 PM - 11 Jun 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (1).

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

George Osborne@George_Osborne

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

10:55 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

Pᄽrö@ribs909

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

10:59 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

zaynmalik1D@zaynmalik

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

1:59 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

Max George@MaxTheWanted

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

3:31 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

Thomas Parker@TomTheWanted

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

2:46 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

zaynmalik1D@zaynmalik

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

3:32 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. Piers Morgan vs. Jeremy Clarkson.

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

Jeremy Clarkson@JeremyClarkson

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

12:11 PM - 27 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

3:10 PM - 27 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

James Arthur@JamesArthur23

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

1:30 AM - 02 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

Frankie Boyle@frankieboyle

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

1:36 AM - 02 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

Chris Brown @chrisbrown

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

12:10 PM - 14 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

Lindsay Ellis@thelindsayellis

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

2:11 AM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (2).

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

George Osborne@George_Osborne

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

10:47 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

The Daily Quail@DailyQuail

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

10:49 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

23. Nathan Fillion vs. Some Kid on Xbox Live.

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks. Me: I'm vagiterian. Nailed it.

Nathan Fillion@NathanFillion

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks.
Me: I'm vagiterian.

Nailed it.

1:25 AM - 09 Apr 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

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