23 Viciously Funny Twitter Comebacks

Close encounters of the BURN kind. Call an ambulance.

1. This Guy vs. Louis C.K.

2. Celebuzz vs. Rihanna.

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

— Rihanna (@rihanna)

3. This guy vs. James Blunt.

I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt)

4. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (1).

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

— CHWIS (@whitesweed)

5. Piers Morgan vs. Gary Lineker.

@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)

@piersmorgan I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker)

6. This Guy vs. Tom Anderson.

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom)

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom)

7. Rio Ferdinand vs. This Guy.

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5)

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

— knicker sniffer 86 (@Scouselikebread)

8. David Cameron vs. Rob Delaney and Sir Patrick Stewart.

I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney)

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew)

9. This Guy vs. SEGA.

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

— Justin PUi (@HotPikachuSex)

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.


10. This Girl vs. Nickelback.

I blame Nickelback.

— My (@mybueno)

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

— Nickelback (@Nickelback)

11. Oprah Winfrey vs. Shaq.


— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah)

@oprah ur caps r on, btw


12. This Guy vs. Frankie Muniz.

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz)

13. Piers Morgan vs. Michael Owen.

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

— michael owen (@themichaelowen)

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)

14. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (2).

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron)

@David_Cameron Fuck off, Moontwat.

— Al Jahom (@AlJahom)

15. Drake vs. T. Boone Pickens.

The first million is the hardest.

— Drizzy (@Drake)

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

— T. Boone Pickens (@boonepickens)

16. The Sun vs. Rihanna.

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

— The Sun (@TheSunNewspaper)

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

— Rihanna (@rihanna)

17. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (1).

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

— George Osborne (@George_Osborne)

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

— Pᄽrö (@ribs909)

18. The Wanted vs. Zayn Malik.

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

— zaynmalik1D (@zaynmalik)

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

— Max George (@MaxTheWanted)

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

— Thomas Parker (@TomTheWanted)

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

— zaynmalik1D (@zaynmalik)

19. Piers Morgan vs. Jeremy Clarkson.

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson)

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)

20. James Arthur vs. Frankie Boyle.

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

— James Arthur (@JamesArthur23)

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle)

21. Chris Brown vs. Lindsay Ellis.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown)

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis)

22. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (2).

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

— George Osborne (@George_Osborne)

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

— The Daily Quail (@DailyQuail)

23. Nathan Fillion vs. Some Kid on Xbox Live.

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks. Me: I'm vagiterian. Nailed it.

— Nathan Fillion (@NathanFillion)

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Dan Dalton is a staff writer for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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