23 Viciously Funny Twitter Comebacks

Close encounters of the BURN kind. Call an ambulance.

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1. This Guy vs. Louis C.K.

2. Celebuzz vs. Rihanna.

Dear Rihanna, you've gone a little too far with this 'outfit' http://t.co/zSKETVkk May be time to class it up and put some clothes on?

CELEBUZZ@CELEBUZZ

Dear Rihanna, you've gone a little too far with this 'outfit' http://t.co/zSKETVkk May be time to class it up and put some clothes on?

6:10 PM - 18 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

Rihanna@rihanna

@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this

9:01 PM - 18 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

3. This guy vs. James Blunt.

I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

James Blunt@JamesBlunt

I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt

1:37 PM - 08 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (1).

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

David Cameron@David_Cameron

The General Election is one year away. Here's how you can back the plan that is turning Britain around: https://t.co/T9MyVSuX53

10:31 AM - 07 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

CHWIS@whitesweed

@David_Cameron you fucking deluded spunktrumpet dishface fuckoff

3:52 PM - 29 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5. Piers Morgan vs. Gary Lineker.

@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

@GaryLineker_ I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow

4:28 PM - 06 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@piersmorgan I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

Gary Lineker@GaryLineker

@piersmorgan
I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that

4:39 PM - 06 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. This Guy vs. Tom Anderson.

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

Tom Anderson@myspacetom

People keep asking, so I'll say it: fear over Instagram's terms change is ridiculous... Get real folks!

12:37 AM - 20 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

Tom Anderson@myspacetom

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

1:11 AM - 20 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. Rio Ferdinand vs. This Guy.

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

Rio Ferdinand@rioferdy5

While u guys around the world are out celebrating New Year spare a thought for me please...I'll be in the team hotel sleeping!! #LoveTheGame

4:24 PM - 31 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

knicker sniffer 86@Scouselikebread

@rioferdy5 will you spare a thought for the rest of the country struggling to make a living while your on 80k a week you fuckin bellend

4:30 PM - 31 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. David Cameron vs. Rob Delaney and Sir Patrick Stewart.

I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

David Cameron@David_Cameron

I've been speaking to @BarackObama about the situation in Ukraine. We are united in condemnation of Russia's actions.

8:18 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

rob delaney@robdelaney

.@David_Cameron @BarackObama Hi guys, I'm on the line now too. Get me up to speed.

10:09 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

Patrick Stewart@SirPatStew

.@robdelaney @David_Cameron @BarackObama I'm now patched in as well. Sorry for the delay.

10:30 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. This Guy vs. SEGA.

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

Justin PUi@HotPikachuSex

What I wouldn't give for @sega to make a new Jet Grind game

12:12 AM - 07 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.

SEGA@SEGA

@HotPikachuSex What I wouldn't give to have not read your user name.

1:01 AM - 07 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. This Girl vs. Nickelback.

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

Nickelback@Nickelback

@mybueno we blame you. Not sure for what, but it was definitely you.

1:10 AM - 22 Jan 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. Oprah Winfrey vs. Shaq.

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .

Oprah Winfrey@Oprah

HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .

3:11 PM - 17 Apr 09ReplyRetweetFavorite

12. This Guy vs. Frankie Muniz.

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

Frankie Muniz@frankiemuniz

@iHeartMtnDEW Yeah, but being retired with $40,000,000.00 at 19 has not been awful. Good luck moving out of your moms house before youre 35.

12:06 AM - 17 Sep 10ReplyRetweetFavorite

13. Piers Morgan vs. Michael Owen.

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

michael owen@themichaelowen

@piersmorgan Please, I beg you, bore off and stop talking about football. Tweet about things you know. Newspapers, Cakes, Doughnuts etc.

9:42 PM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

@themichaelowen Please, I beg YOU, get back on your little bench and stop pretending you're still a footballer.

9:44 PM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. David Cameron vs. The Great British Public (2).

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

David Cameron@David_Cameron

Tax relief for business investment doubled to 򣔀,000 today. ꎙ.8% of firms will pay NO tax on capital investment. #LongTermEconomicPlan

12:18 PM - 01 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@David_Cameron Fuck off, Moontwat.

15. Drake vs. T. Boone Pickens.

The first million is the hardest.

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

T. Boone Pickens@boonepickens

The first billion is a helluva lot harder RT @Drake: The first million is the hardest.

1:00 AM - 31 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. The Sun vs. Rihanna.

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

The Sun@TheSunNewspaper

A raunchy advert showing Rihanna writhing around in her undies features shots of a bum & body double http://t.co/1y78ZZ44

8:27 AM - 11 Jun 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

Rihanna@rihanna

Ok @thesunnewspaper , this is the only way I could say this to you!!! FUCK YOU....AND yo baggy ass condom

5:27 PM - 11 Jun 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (1).

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

George Osborne@George_Osborne

Made argument that UK faces choice-let up now with more borrowing & back to square one or work through our plan to deliver a secure future

10:55 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

Pᄽrö@ribs909

@George_Osborne hope you die in a bin fire you shape shifting horse fucker

10:59 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

18. The Wanted vs. Zayn Malik.

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

zaynmalik1D@zaynmalik

@MaxTheWanted I'm not sure why your still talking to me mate conversation ended when I called you a geek.

1:59 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

Max George@MaxTheWanted

@zaynmalik that's not very nice. I was just starting to like you and your RnB hits.

3:31 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

Thomas Parker@TomTheWanted

@zaynmalik @maxthewanted I think 𠇁 stripes” got his knickers in a twist bro

2:46 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

zaynmalik1D@zaynmalik

@TomTheWanted mate if I had a face like yours my hair would be the last thing I'd worry about :)

3:32 PM - 23 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. Piers Morgan vs. Jeremy Clarkson.

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

Jeremy Clarkson@JeremyClarkson

What a monumental twat this man is. I cannot wait for the day he goes to prison.

12:11 PM - 27 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

Piers Morgan@piersmorgan

Being called a 'monumental twat' by a racist pot-bellied pig @JeremyClarkson who wants nurses executed is the purest definition of irony.

3:10 PM - 27 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. James Arthur vs. Frankie Boyle.

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

James Arthur@JamesArthur23

@frankieboyle Poor old man making yet more shit jokes about Xfactor because he knows that's the only way he can get attention any more #prat

1:30 AM - 02 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

Frankie Boyle@frankieboyle

@JamesArthur23 I think if I wanted attention I'd sing covers on a talent show, inked up like a schooldesk in a remedial class

1:36 AM - 02 Dec 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. Chris Brown vs. Lindsay Ellis.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

Chris Brown @chrisbrown

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all the beautiful women around the world.. Know that you are loved and appreciated !! God bless.

12:10 PM - 14 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

Lindsay Ellis@thelindsayellis

@chrisbrown awww I bet you say that to all the victims.

2:11 AM - 15 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. George Osbourne vs. The Great British Public (2).

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

George Osborne@George_Osborne

Been speaking at Sertec - great manufacturing business in Coleshill, Warwickshire which today announced it's creating 400 jobs.

10:47 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

The Daily Quail@DailyQuail

@George_Osborne You're an irredeemable cockthistle

10:49 AM - 06 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

23. Nathan Fillion vs. Some Kid on Xbox Live.

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks. Me: I'm vagiterian. Nailed it.

Nathan Fillion@NathanFillion

Kid on Xbox: Eat a bag of dicks.
Me: I'm vagiterian.

Nailed it.

1:25 AM - 09 Apr 13ReplyRetweetFavorite