This Is What It’s Like To Watch “Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2” For The First Time
It all ends.
The film opens with Snape gazing wistfully over Hogwarts.
He looks like he's paused mid-sentence.
I just like his face.
Here we go.
Harry and the gang have sought refuge with Fleur and Bill.
Eight films in, and Harry still hasn't worked out what to do with his hands.
Harry goes to speak to The Goblin, who presumably has a name but is just referred to as The Goblin, which is more than a little prejudicial.
Greg agrees to help them break into Bellatrix's vault at Gringotts, because Horcrux.
For the Gringotts heist, Hermione cosplays as Bellatrix.
"No, but you look Lestrange."
They manage to sneak into Gringotts, and ride the fun train to the vaults.
Until they're kicked off the rollercoaster and dropped to their death down a ravine.
In the vault they manage to find the Horcrux.
But Greg, whose name is apparently Griphook, betrays the gang, and leaves them behind.
With security guards closing in, Hermione rescues everyone by hijacking a nearby dragon.
As they leave, the tortured dragon roasts many of his Goblin captors.
Then there's a bit when they all go skinny-dipping.
Meanwhile at Casa De Locks, Voldemort just legit murdered a bunch of people.
Trying to break into Hogwarts, the gang travel to Hogsmeade.
Turns out Mance Rayder is Gambondore's brother, Aberforth.
Harry cuts to the chase.
"Are you kidding?"
Neville escorts them through a secret tunnel back to Hogwarts.
Once inside Hogwarts, Harry gives a rousing speech.
"In less than an hour, wands from here will join others from around the world."
"Perhaps it's fate that today is the second of May, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom."
"And should we win the day, the second of May will no longer be known as a wizard holiday."
"We will not vanish without a fight!"
"Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
Meanwhile, Snape is making a speech of his own.
"Anyone who has knowledge of these events, who fails to come forward, will be treated as eq..."
"I know something about Harry Potter."
Snape goes for his wand, but McGonagall steps in and fights him off.
"It's good to see you too, Professor."
McGonagall activates the Hogwarts defences.
"I've always wanted to use that spell."
Outside, Voldemort and his followers have gathered.
Hermione and Ron go to the Chamber of Secrets for a booty call.
Adam Ant and a couple of hundred other Death Eaters attack the bridge.
But Neville blows them up.
And almost blows himself up in the process.
The battle of Hogwarts begins.
Harry and Ginny share the most awkward kiss ever.
And Harry runs off to the plot device room to find the next Horcrux.
Horcrux is a funny word, isn't it. Horcrux. Horcrux. Horcrux.
Draco Hair Gel and the Shade Throwers!
"Come on Draco, let's go."
Hermione deflects the killing curse, but Ron is not happy.
Then Goyle sets the plot device room on fire.
Harry destroys the Horcrux, and Ron kicks it into the fire.
Then an old friend shows up.
That's right, it's this dreamboat.
The battle of Hogwarts is raging full force outside.
Who invited the spiders?!
Aberforth rocks up, and fights off a couple of hundred Dementors singlehandedly.
At the boathouse, Snape and Voldemort are shooting the breeze.
"Yes, it's brilliant."
"Well, that is fucking stupid. Who can't pronounce chimp?"
Voldemort sets Nagini on Snape, and Harry arrives to find him mortally wounded.
Snape tells Harry to collect his tears.
And takes his last breath.
Voldemort's forces retreat, and Harry and co arrive back to find many of their friends and family have fallen in battle.
RIP Lupin, you marvellous bastard.
At this point I had to pause for a minute.
Harry goes to Gambondore's office to use the Pensieve and learn Snape's secret.
Snape and Lily were childhood friends.
Despite Snape's affections, Lily fell in love with someone else.
After Lily died, Snape agreed to help protect Harry, on one condition.
Plot twist: Gambondore was dying anyway!
There's more. Turns out that Harry's scar isn't just decorative.
It was Snape who conjured the Patronus to lead Harry to the sword.
Harry knows what he must do.
The snitch finally opens to reveal Gambondore's present.
Harry's parents appear to him.
And a bunch of other ghosts.
He goes to meet his end.
Then Voldemort legit murders Harry.
Harry wakes up in heaven, which is Kings Cross station.
Gambondore shows up, and tells him some wisdoms.
Voldemort takes Harry's body back to Hogwarts.
"Ah, a taker, enjoy your hug, Draco."
Neville steps forward.
"Where's your nose, pal."
With Voldemort distracted, Harry springs into action.
Harry and co retreat into the castle, and Voldemort follows.
Meanwhile, Bellatrix tries to kill Ginny.
And she delivers the greatest line of the entire series:
And makes short work of Bellatrix.
Harry legit tries to make out with Voldemort.
They apparate around for a bit.
"Shame about the building though."
Inside, Ron and Hermione are trying to kill Nagini.
Not well at all.
But then, last minute Neville saves the day!
With Nagini dead, Harry beats Voldemort in the duel.
And Voldemort crumbles, literally.
With Voldemort defeated, the danger has passed.
All that's left to do is destroy the Elder Wand, so that no one else can use it.
"Are you OK there, Harry?'
"Just a little tough... Hnnng."
Hang on, there's more.
Harry's youngest son is about to start his first year at Hogwarts.
"Also, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts, one of whom was a Slytherin."
This film was such a wonderful ending to the series. The action was incredible. As was the score.
The series itself I've loved watching so much. I never thought I'd say this, but I consider myself a bit of a Potterhead these days.
Watching Harry Potter for the first time is one of the best things I've ever done.
So thank you all for watching with me, it's been a pleasure.
Oh, and Santa is bringing me a full set of Harry Potter books for Christmas. ⚡️
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