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99 People With 99 Problems

The joke that never gets old.

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This song is 10 years old and we still can't stop using its chorus hook to tell jokes.

1. Most people use the standard framing for their tweets.

i got 99 problems but this tweet ain't one.

Beau Bokan@beauknows

i got 99 problems but this tweet ain't one.

10:45 AM - 20 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

2.

I've got 99 problems but deciding which cardigan I'm going to wear today ain't one.

mynameisJimmy@jimmy_sharpe

I've got 99 problems but deciding which cardigan I'm going to wear today ain't one.

7:37 AM - 01 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

3.

I got 99 problems, but a Bic ain't one

banksy@banksyny

I got 99 problems, but a Bic ain't one

3:45 PM - 22 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

4.

I got 99 problems and pizza ain't one

5.

I got 99 problems, but a subtweet ain't one!

6.

I got 99 problems but a brioche ain't one http://t.co/zXRUBpQKlI

David Morris@MonotoneMorris

I got 99 problems but a brioche ain't one http://t.co/zXRUBpQKlI

11:29 PM - 26 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

7.

I've got 99 problems but since the bin collection day changed from Monday to Wednesday, having to put the bin out on Sunday night ain't one.

Boring Tweeter@b0ringtweets

I've got 99 problems but since the bin collection day changed from Monday to Wednesday, having to put the bin out on Sunday night ain't one.

8:54 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8.

If you're balding in college I feel bad for u son, I got 99 problems but my hair follicles ain't one !

JT Nevers@HorndogThomas

If you're balding in college I feel bad for u son, I got 99 problems but my hair follicles ain't one !

10:36 PM - 03 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9.

I got 99 problems but my pitch ain't one

10.

I've got 99 problems but understanding Foucault's analysis of the panopticon ain't one. I get it. I learned about it in school.

Ali Vingiano@alivingiano

I've got 99 problems but understanding Foucault's analysis of the panopticon ain't one. I get it. I learned about it in school.

3:55 AM - 25 Aug 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

11.

If you're having goal problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but Boruc ain't one

Tom Chivers@TomChivers

If you're having goal problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but Boruc ain't one

5:32 PM - 15 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

12.

I got 99 problems but being awkward ain't one.

Andrew Hales@LAHWF

I got 99 problems but being awkward ain't one.

7:21 PM - 18 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

13.

If you’re having power level problems I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but becoming Super Saiyan ain’t one.

Goku@Goku

If you’re having power level problems I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but becoming Super Saiyan ain’t one.

8:15 PM - 10 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

14.

i got 99 problems but a thriving social life aint one

Mira Gonzalez@miragonz

i got 99 problems but a thriving social life aint one

8:04 PM - 03 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15.

I got 99 problems but reaching the top shelf ain't one.

Tall Girl Problems@tallgirlprblem

I got 99 problems but reaching the top shelf ain't one.

9:24 PM - 27 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16.

If you having Twitter drama I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a tweet aint one.

Jailee Foster @Pellegrinouhz

If you having Twitter drama I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a tweet aint one.

9:31 AM - 06 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

17.

I've got 99 problems but small boobs ain't one

18.

99 problems and being hungry as fuck is one

Dan Engstrom@dankstrom

99 problems and being hungry as fuck is one

7:29 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

19.

Got my trig done. I got 99 problems and TRIG AINT ONE! Damn straight.

Jadyn Mark@jadyn_mark

Got my trig done. I got 99 problems and TRIG AINT ONE! Damn straight.

6:27 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20.

If you're in a relationship I feel bad for ya son I got 99 problems but being emotionally dependent on another human being ain't one

Joseph Parker@tiredparker

If you're in a relationship I feel bad for ya son I got 99 problems but being emotionally dependent on another human being ain't one

2:05 AM - 07 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21.

If you don't watch Game Of Thrones I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a Imp ain't one. #LikeALannister

Nick Murphy@HeyNickMurphy

If you don't watch Game Of Thrones I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a Imp ain't one. #LikeALannister

1:54 AM - 29 Apr 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. Some people know the source of their problems.

I got 99 problems and they're all red balloons

Sean Emeny@SeanEmeny

I got 99 problems and they're all red balloons

12:04 PM - 09 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

23.

If you tryin to watch Twitch on Time Warner Cable I feel bad for you son. You got 99 problems & they are all related to your choice of ISP.

Justin Wong@justinwong

If you tryin to watch Twitch on Time Warner Cable I feel bad for you son. You got 99 problems & they are all related to your choice of ISP.

11:40 PM - 27 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

24.

99 problems and my mom is all of them

25.

I've got 99 problems and the Detroit tigers are all of them.

Justin McPherson@JMcpherson46

I've got 99 problems and the Detroit tigers are all of them.

6:19 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

26.

i got 99 problems and lana del rey is every single one

♢@vyctordelrey

i got 99 problems and lana del rey is every single one

6:56 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

27.

I got 99 problems and all of them are the temperature. #heat #99degrees #Ferguson

Jim Dalrymple II@JimDalrympleII

I got 99 problems and all of them are the temperature. #heat #99degrees #Ferguson

9:48 PM - 22 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

28.

I've got 99 problems and they're all broken phone chargers

American Darling@Nautical_Prep

I've got 99 problems and they're all broken phone chargers

3:05 PM - 20 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

29.

I’ve got 99 problems and they are all nested z-indexes

Wes Bos@wesbos

I’ve got 99 problems and they are all nested z-indexes

3:56 PM - 15 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

30.

I've got 99 problems and 271 of them have to do with math.

Barney Stinson@StinsonSayings

I've got 99 problems and 271 of them have to do with math.

8:30 PM - 08 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

31.

I've got 99 problems and my wife leaving me is a large majority of them

Single Dad@Lonely_Dad

I've got 99 problems and my wife leaving me is a large majority of them

6:52 PM - 03 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

32.

I've got 99 problems and Norman Osborn's the root cause of most of them.

Peter Parker@spidermansavesu

I've got 99 problems and Norman Osborn's the root cause of most of them.

5:32 PM - 08 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

33.

I got 99 problems and they're all facebook friend requests from people I didn't like in high school.

Ashish@4shish

I got 99 problems and they're all facebook friend requests from people I didn't like in high school.

8:41 AM - 26 Apr 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

34.

I got 99 problems and I can't remember any of them.

Dory@imFindDory

I got 99 problems and I can't remember any of them.

12:28 AM - 25 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

35.

i got 99 problems and a slow wifi connection is all of them

lauREN â—Š@narryargh

i got 99 problems and a slow wifi connection is all of them

3:29 PM - 23 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

36.

I've got 99 problems and most of them involve me forgetting my user name and password.

Joshua Martin Ballew@FernBallew

I've got 99 problems and most of them involve me forgetting my user name and password.

4:03 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

37.

I got 99 problems and not getting my Hogwarts letter is every single one.

The Boy Who Lived ÏŸ@HalfBloodTweet

I got 99 problems and not getting my Hogwarts letter is every single one.

10:51 PM - 14 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

38.

I got 99 problems and they all want their own POV character.

Peter V. Brett@PVBrett

I got 99 problems and they all want their own POV character.

3:57 PM - 20 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

39.

If you're seeing Beyoncé and Beyoncé's husband tonight, I feel good for you son. I got 99 problems and literally every one is that I am not

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

If you're seeing Beyoncé and Beyoncé's husband tonight, I feel good for you son.

I got 99 problems and literally every one is that I am not

7:03 PM - 11 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

40.

I got 99 problems and all of them are because of feelings.

matt.@AlwaysMatt7

I got 99 problems and all of them are because of feelings.

2:08 AM - 17 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

41.

I got 99 problems and they're all Mike in Accounting.

Jon Wurster@jonwurster

I got 99 problems and they're all Mike in Accounting.

1:47 PM - 25 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

42.

i've got 99 problems and all of them are my face yay

☾FUCKING TREVOR@nxrrybra

i've got 99 problems and all of them are my face yay

1:52 PM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

43.

I got 99 problems and they're all Jesse Pinkman #BreakingBad

Walter White@TheWalterWhite_

I got 99 problems and they're all Jesse Pinkman #BreakingBad

6:06 PM - 02 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

44. Some people have identified at least one problem.

I've got 99 problems and getting poked by my high school p.e coach on facebook is one of them.

eteP@pete46and2

I've got 99 problems and getting poked by my high school p.e coach on facebook is one of them.

4:49 AM - 08 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

45.

I got 99 problems but keeping stylistically consistent from page 1 to page 320 ain’t one. Wait yes it is

Bryan Lee O'Malley@radiomaru

I got 99 problems but keeping stylistically consistent from page 1 to page 320 ain’t one. Wait yes it is

9:14 PM - 22 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

46.

i’ve got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that’s born to die in a society run by money that i can’t escape is one of them lol

♡ emily ♡@emilymeowww

i’ve got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that’s born to die in a society run by money that i can’t escape is one of them lol

10:17 PM - 04 Jan 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

47.

I got 99 problems, and the two meter hole in the Death Star is definitely one.

Darth Vader@MadDarthVader

I got 99 problems, and the two meter hole in the Death Star is definitely one.

7:30 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

48.

I got 99 problems and severe exaggeration of them is one

Jason Voorhees@Conorrhea98

I got 99 problems and severe exaggeration of them is one

8:42 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

49.

"I got 99 problems ... but this Cano negotiation is among the more significant among them."

David O'Brien@DOBrienAJC

"I got 99 problems ... but this Cano negotiation is among the more significant among them."

3:12 PM - 06 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

50.

"I got 99 problems and the snitch is one" - Harry Potter

Benshorts@benshorts

"I got 99 problems and the snitch is one" - Harry Potter

2:23 AM - 09 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

51.

I got 99 problems but the one I'm definitely referring to right now is the person next to me on the megabus.

Steph Opitz@stephopitz

I got 99 problems but the one I'm definitely referring to right now is the person next to me on the megabus.

8:59 PM - 29 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

52.

If you're having girl truble I feel bad for you son. I got 99 prolbems and spelling is one.

GoaT FacE ThrillA@EndhooS

If you're having girl truble I feel bad for you son. I got 99 prolbems and spelling is one.

1:37 PM - 06 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

53.

I got 99 problems and a sock with out a match is one.

MattG124 @MattG124

I got 99 problems and a sock with out a match is one.

9:43 PM - 05 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

54. Some people have 99 other things.

I got 99 hobgoblins but a witch ain't one.

55.

Check this. I got 99 swags and a yolo ain't one

50 Shades Of Ookay@Ookayx

Check this. I got 99 swags and a yolo ain't one

7:07 PM - 27 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

56.

i got 99 privileges and a play-sta-tion

Paul Ford@ftrain

i got 99 privileges and a play-sta-tion

4:30 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

57.

i got 99 tabs open but your blog ain’t one

Annija Veldre@annijaveldre

i got 99 tabs open but your blog ain’t one

9:57 AM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

58.

I got 99 bras but I can't fit in one

59.

I got 99 selfies but I can't use one.

60.

I got 99 typos, but ebjoy ain't one.

61.

IF U HAVIN CAT PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON I GOT 99 PUPPIES AND I LOVE EACH ONE

Vanessa Ragland@vanessaragland

IF U HAVIN CAT PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON

I GOT 99 PUPPIES AND I LOVE EACH ONE

5:18 PM - 25 May 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

62.

If ur havin cat problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 kittens and you can't have one

Kitten Party ツ@KittenParty666

If ur havin cat problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 kittens and you can't have one

4:14 PM - 07 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

63. Some people subvert expectations.

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son/I got 99 problems but [memory cache wiped] Good morning. #perksofbeingarobot

UnCool Sam@aka_fatman

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son/I got 99 problems but

[memory cache wiped]

Good morning.
#perksofbeingarobot

6:39 PM - 13 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

64.

I got 99 problems and they're all irrelevant when compared to the infinite vastness of space that occupies everything you could ever know.

BeardSpice@BeardSpice

I got 99 problems and they're all irrelevant when compared to the infinite vastness of space that occupies everything you could ever know.

4:29 AM - 06 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

65.

If you havin' grill problems I feel barbecue son. I got 99 charcoals but a briquette one.

Trevor S@trevso_electric

If you havin' grill problems I feel barbecue son. I got 99 charcoals but a briquette one.

7:15 PM - 29 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

66.

I got 99 problems but if one of those problems should accidentally fall I've got 98 problems, sitting on the wall.

Chris Urquhart@chrisurquhart

I got 99 problems but if one of those problems should accidentally fall I've got 98 problems, sitting on the wall.

3:04 AM - 16 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

67.

if you're having girl problems i relate to you hon/ i got 99 problems and they're all gender specific

dodai@jezebeldodai

if you're having girl problems i relate to you hon/ i got 99 problems and they're all gender specific

2:07 AM - 08 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

68.

If you have a urinary tract infection I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems that I've passed on to you through my DNA.

David Hughes@david8hughes

If you have a urinary tract infection I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems that I've passed on to you through my DNA.

10:56 PM - 13 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

69.

IF YOU HAVIN GIRL PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON, I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND THIS ICE CREAM MACHINE WONT FIX ITSELF SO CAN WE TALK LATER?

Joe Lycett@joelycett

IF YOU HAVIN GIRL PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON, I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND THIS ICE CREAM MACHINE WONT FIX ITSELF SO CAN WE TALK LATER?

10:28 AM - 29 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

70.

I think they should change Iowa's motto to "I Got 99 Counties (and a Kitsch Quaint Fun)"

David Burge@iowahawkblog

I think they should change Iowa's motto to "I Got 99 Counties (and a Kitsch Quaint Fun)"

8:26 PM - 05 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

71.

*house crash lands* [witches feet close-up] [dorothy putting on sunglasses] i got 99 problems but a witch aint one *pop & locks off-screen*

k e e t@KeetPotato

*house crash lands*
[witches feet close-up]
[dorothy putting on sunglasses]
i got 99 problems but a witch aint one
*pop & locks off-screen*

11:50 AM - 28 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

72. Freedom is definitely not a problem.

I got 99 problems but freedom ain't one!

73.

If you're hating on America I feel bad for you son, cuz I got 99 problems but freedom ain't one

ellie❁@elliegonewild

If you're hating on America I feel bad for you son, cuz I got 99 problems but freedom ain't one

11:32 PM - 04 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

74.

I got 99 problems but freedom aint one.

Will Luther@WillOfRights

I got 99 problems but freedom aint one. 🇺🇸

7:36 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

75.

I've got 99 problems but being excessively taxed by England ain't one #freedom

Kelcey McClung@kelc_mcclung

I've got 99 problems but being excessively taxed by England ain't one #freedom

3:10 PM - 04 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

76. School, however, is a problem for a lot of people.

i got 99 problems and school starting tomorrow is actually every single one of them

abi@arcadefireabi

i got 99 problems and school starting tomorrow is actually every single one of them

10:58 PM - 07 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

77.

I got 99 problems and school starting soon is all of them

Chris Williams @iChrisWilliams

I got 99 problems and school starting soon is all of them

3:23 AM - 13 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

78.

I got 99 problems and a good bit of them would go away if school started a little later.

Marissa Campbell@Mkc_Babyyy

I got 99 problems and a good bit of them would go away if school started a little later.

12:19 PM - 05 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

79.

I've got 99 problems and like a solid 87 of them are school related like whattttt

Jack Dodge@Jack_Dodge_

I've got 99 problems and like a solid 87 of them are school related like whattttt

9:19 PM - 08 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

80.

I got 99 problems & theyre all gonna be waking up tomorrow for school .

Sammy Ayala@TheSammyAyala

I got 99 problems & theyre all gonna be waking up tomorrow for school .

4:52 AM - 26 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

81.

I got 99 problems and not having school tomorrow would take care of all of them.

Logan@JollyBallin

I got 99 problems and not having school tomorrow would take care of all of them.

4:14 AM - 26 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

82. As is insomnia.

I got 99 problems and they're mostly sleep-related.

Kenny Coble@kennycoble

I got 99 problems and they're mostly sleep-related.

3:32 PM - 06 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

84.

I got 99 problems and no sleep is every single one of them

Cassady Hughes@CassadyHughes5

I got 99 problems and no sleep is every single one of them

10:00 AM - 08 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

85.

I got 99 problems and they're all due to lack of sleep.

Abby Durbin@adurbs1

I got 99 problems and they're all due to lack of sleep.

10:35 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

86.

I got 99 problems and they're all minutes of sleep I've lost from tweeting.

@sassyactivist

I got 99 problems and they're all minutes of sleep I've lost from tweeting.

3:56 PM - 16 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

87.

I got 99 problems and getting out of bed is one

Mohsin Hamid@TheeEgyptian

I got 99 problems and getting out of bed is one 😫

2:06 PM - 06 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

88. Some people are working through their problems.

If you're having depression problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but I'm gonna talk to my therapist and sort it all out

Drew Fitzpatrick@DrewFitz

If you're having depression problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but I'm gonna talk to my therapist and sort it all out

5:16 AM - 04 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

89.

According to my therapist I've got 99 problems, but there's drugs for them.

Mr. Unzipped Fly@ImaFlyontheWall

According to my therapist I've got 99 problems, but there's drugs for them.

7:57 PM - 09 Aug 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

90.

I got 99 problems but white privilege ensures that they're relatively trivial or easily worked out with a therapist.

Trevor S@trevso_electric

I got 99 problems but white privilege ensures that they're relatively trivial or easily worked out with a therapist.

5:18 AM - 15 Jun 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

91.

I got 99 problems... That's why I go to a therapist weekly.

Anti-Joke_Chicken@AntiJokeChicknn

I got 99 problems... That's why I go to a therapist weekly.

3:01 AM - 09 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

92.

I got 99 problems, and I should probably see a therapist about how many problems I have

brenna@coastIine

I got 99 problems, and I should probably see a therapist about how many problems I have

1:38 AM - 31 Aug 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

93. Some people know how to fix their problems.

I got 99 problems and a two scoop waffle cone could fix them all

Ice Cream Journal@IceCreamJournaI

I got 99 problems and a two scoop waffle cone could fix them all

12:05 AM - 08 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

94.

I got 99 problems here... you have them *runs away*

Geanina McNope@Geanina_26K

I got 99 problems
here... you have them

*runs away*

10:23 PM - 15 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

95.

I got 99 problems and they could all be solved with a private island and my own staff.

Biddie@WineGirlWasted

I got 99 problems and they could all be solved with a private island and my own staff.

5:10 PM - 27 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

96.

I got 99 problems and 98 of them could be resolved with a nice cup of tea and a decent night's sleep

Grumpy David @geordiedavid

I got 99 problems and 98 of them could be resolved with a nice cup of tea and a decent night's sleep

9:53 PM - 21 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

97.

"If you're having sleep problems I feel bad for you, son / I got 99 sedatives. Here, have one" - Jay Zzzzzzz

John Moe@johnmoe

"If you're having sleep problems I feel bad for you, son / I got 99 sedatives. Here, have one" - Jay Zzzzzzz

2:52 PM - 20 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

98.

I got 99 problems, but George R.R. Martin killed off 5 of them.

Tia Marie@tia_marie

I got 99 problems, but George R.R. Martin killed off 5 of them.

12:07 AM - 25 Jan 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

99. And, of course...

I've got 99 problems, and figuring out why this joke format is popular is one of them.

Steve Olivas@steveolivas

I've got 99 problems, and figuring out why this joke format is popular is one of them.

2:39 PM - 11 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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