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28 Things You'll Only Understand If You're A Megafauna

When you're just too big for this world.

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1. As a human megafauna, the world is not built for you. You are too big for plane seats...

Cue arriving at the airport five hours before a flight to secure an exit row.


2. And airplane toilets.

It's like they don't want us to pee.

3. You also don't fit on coaches...

4. Or on buses.

Basically all public transport is your enemy.

5. You don't even fit in your own bed.

Or hospital bed, hotel beds, hostel beds.


6. You try your best to fit into the world...

7. But no matter how much you bend and duck and contort, you just have to accept...

8. This world and the things in it were not made for you.

9. Mirrors are handy for checking out your knees.

10. The same knees that don't fit under tables.

Or desks.

11. And sunroofs are handy when you don't fit in cars that aren't designed for megafauna.

12. But chances are you won't know the joy of lying down in the bath.

13. And you will never know the simple pleasure of washing your hair in the shower without bending, crouching, and otherwise wrecking your back.

14. If you're showering at the gym, chances are, those showers won't be very private.

15. Nor will a trip to the toilet cubicle.

16. Your size often confuses regular sized fauna.

17. And they'll have many questions for you, which you'll quickly tire of.

Brb ordering 1000 of these.


18. You make normal sized objects seem miniature.

It's hard not to feel drunk on power sometimes.

19. It's like you're living in a doll's house.

20. And it can feel like the world is shrinking around you.

21. Which makes the world a dangerous place for a megafauna.

Life is a concussion waiting to happen.


22. There are many positives to being a megafauna though.

Kids will love you, for starters.

23. You don't have to worry about looking bad in group pictures.

Because chances are, you won't be in them.

24. You you can pull off this excellent costume.

That's Halloween sorted.

25. And you don't really have to worry about drowning.

26. You can always see at a gig, no matter where you stand.

And your friends can always find you.

27. And you get to eat a lot.

Megafauna need a lot of fuel!

28. But perhaps the best part of being a megafauna...

You can always carry bae home.