17 Valentine's Day Gifts That Will Make You Wish You Were Single

Can we just cancel February 14th?

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the worst Valentine's Day gifts they've ever gotten. Here’s what they had to say:

1. A selfie collection that even Kim K. couldn't keep up with.

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"My now ex-boyfriend gave me a flash drive filled with about 400 of his selfies. Four-hundred freaking selfies!" —randallbriana

2. A very bitter slice of cheesecake.

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"Dumped. The man I was planning on marrying broke up with me. I was so pissed I made him take me to the Cheesecake Factory and sit through dinner with me." —katef488e5c901

3. Chocolate and heartbreak.

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"I got a Snickers bar, followed by a text message dumping me later that evening for another girl." —Linda Gonzales Welch, Facebook

4. Doritos can be super romantic to some people, right?

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"A bag of Doritos. We had been dating for four years and he got me a bag of Doritos and stuck a bow on it. I left him shortly after." —LPetro

5. Church on Valentine's isn't the sexiest plan.

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"My first boyfriend was a very serious born-again Christian. I was an atheist, but I never told him that because so long as he wasn’t shoving his religion down my throat it didn’t matter…so I thought. Around V-Day he said he was going to surprise me with something very special on Sunday for the holiday. I was amped!

We pull into the parking lot of a mega church and he turns off the car and says 'Surprise!.' He explains that he thinks things are getting more serious with us and that it was time he brought me to his church for a service, and what better service to attend than a service on LOVE! My stomach drops but I’m polite and attend the service. The 'love' preaching was more about how our primary love is for Jesus and that romantic love without intent to marry and have children can often be sinful. There was even a portion on pre-marital sex (which my partner and I were FAR from having), and as the preacher dude said something to the effect of 'don’t be tempted' my boyfriend raised his arms, passionately nodding, and a single tear slid down his cheek." —livym

6. A very lonely bottle of shampoo.

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"Shampoo. Without the matching conditioner. We had been dating for over a year." —ashlyna156

7. A day pass to the doghouse.

"I got kicked out of the house for the day." —clarac4a3f3a4ba

8. A sucky gift that glows in the dark.

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"When I was in college, I cooked my boyfriend of 6 months a nice dinner for Valentine’s and he gave me a glow-in-the-dark Toy Story 3 poster — and not as a joke or anything. That was his real Valentine’s Day gift to me. We were both 20 years old. He kept asking me how I liked it, but I ended up giving it to my little brother." —hannahm4709aa599

9. Nice earrings for someone who can't wear them.

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"Diamond earrings. Normally that would be a super nice gift, but I don’t have pierced ears. I had been dating the guy for over two months and he told me once that once of the reasons he found me attractive was because I didn't have tattoos or piercings. Ummm what?" —lizm4afe0a7a0

10. Mean kids being assholes.

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"In 4th grade I got one of those generic cards that you give to the whole class, but on the bottom this girl had written 'P.S. - You are kind of annoying.' Needless to say, we were not friends after that." —allisonc4c12999ce

11. A trip to the hospital.

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"I got stitches. When my husband and I were still dating, I was waiting up for him to get home from work on Valentine’s Day. When he got home, the dog barked, which scared the cat, who ran up my face and used me as a launch pad. His back claws ripped my upper lip open and put a hole in my cheek. I had blood pouring out of my face, but still tried to convince my husband it wasn’t bad enough to go to the ER. Two stitches and a tetanus shot later, Valentine’s Day was ruined, and I have a scar to prove it." —hillaryf4afff6749

12. A desk chair for a deskless home.

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"My now husband rearranged our living room and bought me a desk chair. We did not have a desk or a working computer." —tierneyh4c4e6f0eb

13. A one-way ticket to the friendzone.

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"My middle school would sell flowers and there were different meanings for all of them. I had a MAJOR crush on this one girl and I received a flower from her and I was SUPER excited, only to find out this it was the flower that represented friendship and she only got it because my birthday was coming up. That’s the story of the first time I was friendzoned." —StuckyandSolangelo

14. Macaroni art.

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"A string of yarn with a macaroni noodle on it for every day we had been together, colored ones for the days he estimated we had sex." —katrinas490cf8b1d

15. A lecture on capitalism.

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"For Valentine’s Day one year I got a lecture from my boyfriend about how it’s just a holiday for big corporations to make money off of. I got him a $200 watch." —thanyam

16. Nothing says I love you like an artsy dick pic.

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"In college I got a homemade card with an out of focus Polaroid dick pic." —DeidreJenel

17. And what sounds like the beginning of a murder mystery show and endless nightmares.

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"I went on a pity date with this guy, and stupid me, I didn’t realize that it was Valentine's Day until it was too late to back out. I was given a choice: movie or dinner first. Since I wasn't into the guy, I was like, MOVIE! This was 1998, so we watched Titanic. After those three grueling hours, we went back to his car, and I was presented with this big long white box, the kind that long stem roses come in. I open it, and I kid you not, inside was a stuffed animal pig head on a stick. With bells. It was a pig head on a stick. I thought for sure I was getting murdered that night, but somehow made it home." —aprilmayob

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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