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18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch

Read this before buying a shitty gift.

We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the worst Secret Santa gifts they've ever gotten. Here are some of the funniest responses:

1. Don't bring a sex toy to a gift exchange if your grandmother is there, IDK, just a thought.

Fox

"At my family white elephant party, my aunt wrapped a vibrator as a gift. My very unlucky grandmother was the one to grab that particular gift. It was extremely uncomfortable for everyone, especially on Jesus' birthday." —lindsays4b35a5283

2. A poor soul got an unsolicited guinea pig they're stuck with for the next 12 years.

randomness-is-epic.tumblr.com

"A guinea pig. A real live guinea pig. It squeaks all night and it doesn't blink. And worst of all is that it lives 12 years. TWELVE FREAKING YEARS!!!!" —rylieelisabeth

3. But forget unwanted pets, someone actually got bobcat urine disguised as perfume. And they sprayed it all over before realizing what it was!!!!!

DreamWorks Pictures

"I work in a lab and once received bobcat urine in a perfume bottle as a gag gift for Secret Santa! I did not realize what it was until it was too late and had sprayed it on myself. My Secret Santa thought it was hilarious though!" —gabriellep434b176c5

4. This one person got a decent gift, but when they found out the story behind it, it was ruined.

E!

"I felt bad about mine. I got a expensive set of Ninja Turtle figurines that seemed awesome...until I found out the gift I got was meant for my Secret Santa’s children and they gave them to me as a punishment for them. My gift was used as torture for children!" —roberttn

5. This one guy was not well-liked by his Secret Santa, and the gift he got proved it.

The CW

"It wasn’t my gift, but my ex got a bag of dog food from somebody who really disliked him, and I think that’s honestly the most clever way somebody’s ever called him a bitch." —andiec47e4e8ac3

6. But some terrible gifts, like potato peelers, can grow into something you actually want and need.

As Seen On TV

"A potato peeler in high school. Just a plain metal one. They could’ve at least added a potato. But it ended up being fine, because years later after graduating and getting my own place, I’ve put that baby to a LOT of use." —susieunderpants

7. Or a hammer, which turned out to be a great addition to their toolbox.

Marvel Studios

"I received a somewhat expensive hammer. Not a fun gift, but I will say that I broke two hammers with wooden handles trying to pry apart wooden pallets to make a headboard, and this metal hammer actually got the job done easily." —jarrette4e37c917f

8. After years of getting shitty gifts, someone purposely became a bad gift-giver.

FX

"When I was a senior in high school, for a white elephant gift exchange, I wrapped up my old high school notebooks and broken mechanical pencils. The reason? I was fed up with getting great presents stolen from me every year and getting useless gag gifts." —deivam

9. Some people were like, "Not today, Satan," and took it upon themselves to give the gift of Jesus.

Bravo

"In my junior year in high school, we did a Secret Santa. At the time, I was wearing a charm necklace that my friend made with crystals for my birthday. They were for luck, healing, and fortune. When it was time to do the exchange, one of the students stood up and gave me one of those small Bibles. His reason: my necklace could bring the devil to my school." —katelinsurita94

10. Getting a Bible along with some judgment will ruin anyone's day.

giphy.com

"I got a Bible from a co-worker, she's very religious, I'm not, but figured she meant well. I opened it up and there were HIGHLIGHTED PASSAGES that she used to pass judgement on my life. Pretty much anything about sex, women's clothing, and nonbelievers. It was crazy!" —angelag4e427edbe

11. But there's nothing worse than getting leftovers as a pity gift.

USA Network

"When I was fifteen, my aunt messed up Secret Santa, so my cousin got two gifts and I got none. My uncle felt bad so he grabbed some ham from the leftovers, wrapped it in a napkin, and wished me Merry Christmas" —rebeccaa494ce87f9

12. Regifting something that belongs to a dead person is never a good idea, IMO.

STARZ

"I bought a nice blanket for my then-boyfriend's grandmother. Sadly, that following year she passed away, and to my surprise, I was gifted the same blanket from his aunt!" —massmusic

13. But some people just want to watch the world burn.

E!

"I hate chocolate and I specifically mentioned that on my list IN ALL CAPS. My Secret Santa gave me a note that said 'If you don’t like chocolate, you don’t deserve a good present,' along with a ton of chocolate." —emmab413c313ff

14. Someone straight-up gifted the perfume bottle they used as a flask without cleaning it out. So the perfume smelled like vodka.

Fox

"I got this perfume that smelled like vodka. It was supposed to be vanilla, but I'm fairly certain she dumped it into a container and replaced it with cheap vodka. I threw it away." —actuallyinsane

15. Secret Santa often proves common sense is not that common.

Logo

"I said I liked face masks (like, for skin care) and I got those cardboard animal masks on sticks that you find at the dollar store and give to your child to color and play with." —claireb424854df2

16. Never. Ever. Give anyone a "how to lose weight" guide. EVER.

HBO

"A magazine that featured 'how to lose weight,' a Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer, and a dog Christmas ornament. I have cats." —ashleycanterburyv

17. There's nothing a bootleg electronic device can ruin that Celine Dion can't fix.

youtube.com

"I got a fake iPod. It was so bad that Apple was misspelt. On the plus side, Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On' was preloaded." —allegrachloe4

18. And dead pets make terrible gifts. For anyone. Always.

NBC

"We did a white elephant gift exchange a couple of years ago. One of the gifts was just a tin with a picture of our relative’s old dog. Turns out, it wasn’t just a tin, it actually contained the ashes of their cremated dog. I knew that side of the family was weird, but not that weird." —carlys4db6e226e

Some responses have been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

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