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13 Dicks Your Friends Will Actually Want To See On Valentine's Day

We're not dicking around.

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Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed

1. How do you show your bestie that you love her? With a pecker-shaped lipstick (veiny shaft and all), of course.

Each box contains 12 Diamond Dream Lipsticks in shades ranging from pale pink to red. Get it on Amazon for $15.95.
@prozac_morris / instagram.com

Each box contains 12 Diamond Dream Lipsticks in shades ranging from pale pink to red.

Get it on Amazon for $15.95.

2. And yes, wang-shaped concealer sticks exist, too.

These concealer sticks are currently out of stock, but you can check the Bitch Slap Cosmetics Instagram for updates.
instagram.com

These concealer sticks are currently out of stock, but you can check the Bitch Slap Cosmetics Instagram for updates.

3. This stylish knitted penis scarf will keep anyone warm during the cold, cold winter.

You can get it from Krystles Krazy Knits on Etsy for $45.

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4. Give your friend a bar of penis soap to wash away all their love troubles this V-Day.

They come in different colors and scents.

Buy your favorite from Ivy Monroe on Etsy for $8.99.

5. This sterling silver penis pendant (wow, that's a mouthful) can be a beautiful symbol of your friendship: always there through hard times (and not so hard times).

You can buy it from ukskbk on Etsy for $40.63.

6. Help your bestie relax with these penis-shaped bath bombs.

You can get them from A Friends Place on Etsy for $5.

7. Know someone who prefers petite-sized things? Check out these mini ween bath bombs.

You can get a bag of dicks from Slickery After Dark on Etsy for $10.

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8. Have a friend who needs a guiding light? Penis candles can show them the way.

You can get them from Agreeable Agony on Etsy for $12.

9. Your friends will love getting highly pigmented penis eyeshadows on the most ~romantic~ night of the year.

You can get them on Bitch Slap Cosmetics for $10.
instagram.com

You can get them on Bitch Slap Cosmetics for $10.

10. You'll never go wrong with chocolate, so mix it up with this basket of tiny chocolate penises.

You can get one from Island Girl Gourmet for $6.99.

11. This reusable testicle teabag is hilarious but also highly functional.

Get it for $12.99.
dicksbymail.com

Get it for $12.99.

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12. If you want your friend to shine bright like a *diamond*, give her a dick highlighter.

You can get them from Bitch Slap Cosmetics for $25.

13. Try sending them a bag of gummies shaped like male genitalia.

@marussell12 / instagram.com
@lieutenantleah / instagram.com

You can order them on Dicks By Mail for $15.

Enjoy!