Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The “Daddy Privilege” So Many Mothers Experience
“You are not ‘babysitting,’ you are doing your duty as a parent.”
On today's episode of BuzzFeed Daily, we broke down the top pop culture headlines AND discussed "daddy privilege." You can listen below or scroll down to read more about the interview!
BuzzFeed Daily: You recently wrote a piece for BuzzFeed about "daddy privilege." Would you mind explaining what daddy privilege is for our listeners?
BuzzFeed Daily: I saw the TikTok that we're going to talk about, and I was like, "Oh yes, this is what 100% a true and real thing. Have you ever experienced daddy privilege with [your husband] Phil?
Krista Torres: Yes, actually. When my husband has been doing certain things in the store, that's happened. Obviously, my son is older now, but it happened a lot when he was younger. The big one was him changing dirty diapers. It was thought, you know, that dad's going to hand the baby off to mom because, for whatever reason, society thinks that that's the mom's duty and that dads just can't fathom changing a dirty diaper.
So that was one from older, distant relatives that I experienced at big family functions and stuff, just like little comments. But then definitely in public, in the grocery store, if he was wearing the baby or something, there was this whole scene of people flocking to them to just shower them with attention and call him out for doing things, and it's like, "Wait a minute. But he had a kid, so he should be doing that anyway."
BuzzFeed Daily: Absolutely. So your piece focused on TikToker, mother, and business owner, Chloe Sexton, who posted a video discussing her husband's daddy privilege that has since been viewed over five million times. Can you go into a little detail about the incident that sparked Chloe's video?
KT: Yeah. So in her video, basically, her husband is the one who told her that he was embarrassed by how he was being treated, which is awesome — that he was able to kind of pinpoint it and be like, "Wait, why? Why is somebody treating me like this?" And so she didn't actually witness it, but the husband came back to her and was like, "You know, I was at the store wearing the baby, getting groceries" — and she is a baker, so she goes to this wholesale food place where she gets big bags of flour and all this stuff she has to load up and take back to her bakery.
Well, when the dad does it, everyone's coming to help him and offer assistance and be like, "Oh my gosh, you're such an awesome dad for loading all this stuff up and multitasking." Even though Chloe did that when she was nine months pregnant and she does it all the time every week, and no one thinks twice about it.
So basically, he was just saying that he felt kind of embarrassed that he was being treated that way. But I think that he is, unfortunately, in the minority there because I think a lot of dads love that. They're like, "Well, I should be being showered [with praise] for doing all of these things."
So yeah, those are my thoughts on it. And I don't mean to encompass all dads. Hopefully, that's changing. But I do still feel like there are a lot of dads, because of how society portrays them, who think that they should be praised for doing these certain things that moms do on an everyday basis.