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12 Things That Will Definitely Happen If Leonardo DiCaprio Doesn't Win An Oscar

I don't think the Academy is prepared to have this much blood on its hands.

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1. NBC will replace Jimmy Fallon with Kanye West on the Tonight Show

2. Beyoncé will decide she's just not that in to Jay-Z

3. Facebook will make a new policy ONLY allowing pictures of food, babies, and birthday picture collages

4. Justin Bieber will be cast as The Bachelor

5. California will finally break off into the Pacific Ocean

6. House of Cards will get cancelled

7. Every day will be Throwback Thursday

8. Pizza will become an endangered food

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This is a real thing.

9. Ryan Lochte will win a Nobel Peace Prize

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If you don't understand, watch this.

10. Netflix will end instant streaming

11. Miley Cyrus will make a fragrance

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It will be called Tonguez. I imagine it smells like a mixture of regret and cheese breath.

12. And Leo will retire from acting

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This one could actually happen, and it's perhaps the most terrifying of them all.

Your move, Academy.

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