The Logie Everyone Really Cares About: Fuckwit Of The Year!
Yes, folks, the good people at TV week have finally seen the need to not just praise those who are good, but to clearly label those who aren't. You can nominate here, but please, no more nominations for Andrew Bolt, he's the current runaway favourite to be Australian TV's "Fuckwit of the Year".
Who will win!
Yes folks, please nominate now, any suggestions for "Fuckwit of the Year" will be gratefully received.
Here are the current nominations.
1. Andrew Bolt.
Right wing bigot who fronts a show that is laughably titled "current affairs" on Channel Ten.
This show would be more accurately titled "I love Tony Abbott, and Wish to Have his Children".
Bolt it was who was quite rightly caught for being a racist, and then had the federal government change the laws so he could spout more of his racist filth.
It was the Bolt issue that led Australian Attorney General George Brandis to say "people have a right to be bigots".
2 Kyle Sandilands.
Kyle is a regular appearer in this category, most famous for radio show, he regularly appears on TV in various guises and the networks who have him on have had to schedule him outside mealtimes, as his very appearance leads those watching to toss their cookies in loathing at the moronic garbage he outputs.
Most famous for putting a young girl on a lie detector, who then felt forced to say things of a deeply personal nature which almost destroyed her life.
Was Sandilands sorry?
No, he later described it as great radio.
3 David Koch
Another perennial contender.
His surname is near rhyming slang for his character.
While not as overtly racist, homophobic and right wing as the two contenders above, he likewise fills the "never again" category by anyone trying to eat their breakfast when he comes on.
He is however highly sexist, most famous for bringing a stripper pole on for his co-host to, I guess, gyrate on.
Popular suggestions for his punishment include being forced to watch his own show.
4 Paul Henry.
New Zealand's most popular export, not because the Kiwis are proud of him, but because they are over the moon that he is out of the country.
An SMH article about this offense to decency said this, "Paul Henry is smug. He's a rich, self-satisfied right-winger who's rude about Hispanics and gay parents."
Another racist shitbag that Australian TV could well do without.
5 Larry Emdur.
Larry is not, or hasn't at least been caught, racist or homophobic, he is nominate for being one of the stupidest people to ever appear on TV.
And that is truly saying something.
He is most famous for appearing on these awards one year hammered drunk and then proceeded to give out unwanted information about the shape and firmness of his wife's posterior.
What she thought of this performance is sadly not recorded.
Or at least I haven't been able to find it anywhere.
He was once touted as a possible host of a chat show in the US, but (thankfully) it was found to be a typo and Larry King was the man they were after.
6 Sandy Roberts.
A sports commentator who makes Mike Tyson look like a learned member of Mensa.
Roberts holds a nearly impossible to believe accolade in that he is so annoying that he made live broadcasts of Aussie Rules drop in the ratings until they were behind a documentary on crochet on SBS.
The free-to-air channel who had previously employed him were happy when he went over to a cable network.
The only people happier than that were the fans who no longer had to hear him over the top of the football.
7 Ray Warren.
A sports broadcaster for the rugby league in Sydney.
A former greyhound race caller, he brings all the class of the dishlickers to the football broadcast.
He once famously described a punch thrown by one player as landing "right on the pecker".
Since it hit to player on the receiving end on the nose, it called into question what happened when Ray was asked by his wife to "get his pecker out and give it to me".
He contends with Larry Emdur in the stupid zone.
8 Eddie Mcguire.
Host of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, a show that fails in one major respect, they never make anyone a millionaire.
Everytime the money-shot question comes up, Eddie talks incessantly as of some US House of Rep politician filibustering.
Then the show ends and he says "come back next week for more bullshit from me".
Apart from showing strong form in the fuckwit stakes on TV, he is an almost certain winner in Victoria as he is president of Collingwood, a football club about as popular as a dose of the clap.
So send in those nominations, we want to see that all the fuckwits on Australian TV get nominated.
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