If You Have A Vagina, I Guarantee You Know All About These Kinds Of Farts
Not cartoons, but FARToons. ENJOY.
Sometimes having a vagina means experiencing very special and unique farts. And, no, I'm not talking about a queef — that's just trapped air escaping out your vag. These are ~true~ gas farts that basically come out the "front" or by other non-traditional means.
1. The "Traveler" fart:
This fart likes to take a leisurely detour up/forward between your labia.
2. The "Help Me!" fart:
This lil' ball of gas is basically a "Traveler" fart, but it manages to get stuck in your labia along the way — usually, you have to give it a wiggle or something to help free it.
3. The "Clapper" fart:
This fart moves similarly to the previous two, but it's very FAST and your labia SNAPS back together when it escapes, feeling like an aggressive clap. TBH, it kinda hurts, too?!
4. The "Prisoner" fart:
This special fart almost exclusively happens during your period. It manages to get trapped between your vulva and a pad, eventually getting absorbed entirely by the pad. This makes for a really interesting smell experience later on. And by interesting, I mean terrible.
5. The "Bubbly" fart:
This special breed of period fart gets mixed up with blood and feels wet, kinda bubbly, and extra messy.
6. The "Pusher" fart:
This fart gets trapped behind all that intestinal BLOCKAGE you get leading up to your period and has to work extra hard to break free.
7. And finally the "Death" fart:
This gas monster is the most deadly, toxic, "OMFG what is going on inside my body?!" stinky period fart.