1. When you realize you're older than your heroes:
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
2. When you hit that special home renovation age:
me at age 10: why do adults like HGTV me 10 years later: tile floors? with THOSE cabinets?? ugh, you're killing me, deborah!!!
3. And special "You can use BB&B coupons even if they're expired!!!" age:
I keep my portfolio diversified, by which I mean expired bed bath and beyond coupons
4. When your body begins to break down:
KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week
5. When going to the beach means sitting at the beach:
u know ur getting old when going to the beach doesn't necessarily mean swimming in it.
6. When your eyesight begins to fail you:
You know you’re getting old when you try and get a beautiful shot of a full moon through the trees, and then focus.
7. When tripping is an honest to god fear:
One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
8. When you have to explain things to the youths:
My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone and now I feel 90.
9. When you start to worry about others' health:
I know I'm getting old because I just saw a group of hot chicks in bikinis and my first thought was "I hope they're wearing sunblock."
10. When it feels like you get older faster...as you get older:
on aging: 21 yrs - woo! 22 yrs - woo! 23 yrs - woo! 24 yrs - woo! 25 yrs - woo! 26 yrs - wait 27 yrs - oh god 28 yrs - please make it stop
11. When you've come to accept certain realities:
I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.
12. Seriously:
You know you’re getting old when you wake up with injuries because you “slept wrong”
13. When birthdays start to be more upsetting than fun:
#FridayMotivation Let's play "You know you're getting old when...." I'll go first... They no longer bring you a cake with a small candle for each year you've lived for your birthday, but one with BIG NUMBER candles instead. 😳
14. When feeling good is less about your libido and more about your sciatica:
You know you're getting old when you pull out your high-powered back massager and actually use it on your back.
15. When you really start to ~get into~ cheese:
If you’ve ever wondered if you’re getting old, ask yourself this question. Have you ever bought expensive cheese? Therein lies your answer
16. When your adventures only happen inside a grocery store:
AGE 10: I want to see the entire world. AGE 26: I want to try 3-5 more hummus brands.
17. And finally, when you just give up and accept it...YOU'RE GETTING OLD:
AGING ACTUALLY MAKES YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE IF YOU CONSIDER THE FACT THAT SKELETONS ARE COOL AS HELL
