1. The “I didn’t read what you said so i’ll just send a wink face and sexual innuendo” text.
2. The “I clearly just wanna get in your pants” text.
3. The “I’m asking you about your day to make it seem like I care before asking for a pic” text.
4. The “I haven’t talked to you in ages but you look good in your new Instagram so hey what’s up?” text.
5. The “I’m gonna laugh really hard at something you said even though it literally wasn’t even funny because I want you to date me” text.
6. The “I’m sending you an emoji that is confusing and has no real meaning simply because I want your attention” text.
7. The “I somehow made you telling me about your day sexual” text.
8. The “I’m using a pickup line I saw on The Chive that’s been around since 2010 but hoping you’ll still think I’m clever” text.
9. The “I just posted a pic about how much I love my girlfriend on Instagram but will say our relationship has ‘problems’ when you ask me about it” text.
10. The “I’m gonna ruin your fave food for you by making it weirdly perverted for no reason” text.
11. The “I’m secretly texting you while my new S.O. is probably in the other room" text.
12. The “I’m drunk and just thought of you even though I haven’t talked to you in like two years” text.
13. The “I’m going to say something mean about your looks because I think it’s funny” text.
14. The “I’m going to ask you to do something sexual in the bathroom at work because the idea of it alone turns ME on" text.
15. The “Here’s a punny joke about your vagina...”
16. “...and one about your ass...”
17. “...and ANOTHER one about my dick" texts.
18. The “I know it’s the middle of the work day, but all I can think about is sex, so here you go" text.
19. The “I’m basically catcalling you through typing right now” text.
20. The “I’m going to text you at 3 a.m. and pretend it isn’t for a booty call even though it 20000% is” text.
21. The “I’m going to try to use a lame pickup line on you but it won’t make sense AT ALL” text.
22. The “I’m going to say ‘lol’ after I say something really fucking weird just in case it doesn’t go well so i can pretend I was joking” text.
23. The “yeah, I’m a grown ass man and I’m still asking you what your bra size is” text.
24. The “I actually have the audacity to ask about the friend in one of your pics” text.
25. The “I’m gonna find a way to talk about my dick no matter what the topic is” text.
26. The “I’m going to ask you if you’re ACTUALLY still dating someone else” text.
27. The “If you don’t respond to me right away, I’m going to instantly call you a bitch” text.
28. And finally, the “I’m going to send you 15 texts in a row of the same creepy line and there’s nothing you can do about it" text.