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    If McDonald's Made Happy Meal Toys For Thirtysomethings

    Not really lovin' it, but trying.

    1. A "Best of Napa Valley" four pack:

    2. An app that translates whatever the hell it is kids are saying today:

    3. A blow up doll to "ooh and aah" at baby showers in your place while you sneak out the back door:

    4. A special nostalgia edition with a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper:

    5. A "sorry I can't make it to your dinner party" starter kit:

    6. A set of keys to that three bedroom you've been obsessing over for weeks:

    7. A cutout mask of your 21-year-old self to slap on whenever you run into someone you haven’t seen in a while:

    8. A fake ID that says you're still 29:

    9. And finally, the world's most perfect pillow: