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    Posted on Oct 1, 2015

    If McDonald's Made Happy Meal Toys For Thirtysomethings

    Not really lovin' it, but trying.

    1. A "Best of Napa Valley" four pack:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    One for now, the rest for five minutes from now.

    2. An app that translates whatever the hell it is kids are saying today:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    Obviously with (very necessary) automatic hourly updates.

    3. A blow up doll to "ooh and aah" at baby showers in your place while you sneak out the back door:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    No melted chocolate bars in diapers for you.

    4. A special nostalgia edition with a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    "This is what mommy coveted when she was your age."

    5. A "sorry I can't make it to your dinner party" starter kit:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    So you can send your friends "visual evidence" of why you can't make it out tonight.

    6. A set of keys to that three bedroom you've been obsessing over for weeks:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    Downpayment included!

    7. A cutout mask of your 21-year-old self to slap on whenever you run into someone you haven’t seen in a while:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    "I had bangs once... SEE?!"

    8. A fake ID that says you're still 29:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    Good for at least the next decade.

    9. And finally, the world's most perfect pillow:

    Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

    Because you more than deserve a nap that actually leaves you rested.

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