If you're one of the many people who've already gotten into the Halloween spirit, we're happy to inform you that it's that magical time of year again — Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood has returned! And because we, Crystal and Darren, are big ol' horror fans, we dusted off our spooky tees and comfy shoes to check out and rank all the mazes again.
For the record, it took us a little under four hours with express passes to go through all the mazes — including a side break to go on a couple ~normal~ rides because, hey, they were walk-on! — and, even during the recent SoCal heatwave, we managed to survive.
Note: We did not include the Terror Tram in our ranking this year because it closed earlier than the rest of the HHN events at 11:15 p.m. (take note!!!), and we didn't know this until it was too late. ☹️ (Although, FWIW, the Terror Tram looks like it'll be pretty cool this year, featuring characters and sets from Jordan Peele's Nope and Us.)
And here's what we thought about all the mazes this year...
8. Universal Horror Hotel
Crystal: It's always fun to see what original mazes they come up with for HHN, and I appreciate one with a story. I LOVED seeing the skeleton come out of the tub — gave me very The Shining vibes — but, overall, this maze was not that scary. However, it was housed in the former The Walking Dead walk-thru attraction, which meant it was fully air-conditioned...a MAJOR win when it's 99 degrees outside. Scariness: 2/5, Creativity: 2.5/5
Darren: This was not very scary, though it was long, so you get your money's worth in length, I guess. It’s an original story, though. I kept creeping around a corner waiting for the next scare that rarely came. Scariness: 2/5, Creativity: 2/5
Scare rating: 4/10
Creativity Rating: 4.5/10
TOTAL: 4.75/10
7. Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Crystal: Killer Klowns from Outer Space is having a bit of a moment this year (I keep seeing so much merch for it everywhere?!), so it's no surprise they brought it back to HHN for 2022. Having experienced this maze back in 2019, I think it was slightly spoiled for me because nothing came as a ~major~ shock. However, it's a fun, campy maze, and I'm STILL impressed by the scare actor playing the police officer-turned-human puppet. It's a great effect. Scariness: 2/5, Creativity 3/5
Darren: Some fun jump scares. I love the cop who is acting like a puppet. Even though it is not scary at all, I think it is a fun touch. There are definitely some creeps in here, basically by the terrible design of these asshole clowns. Scariness: 2.5, Creativity 3/5
Scare rating: 4.5/10
Creativity Rating: 6/10
TOTAL: 5.25/10
6. Universal Monsters: Legends Collide
Crystal: Back in 2018, they did a catch-all Universal Monsters maze at HHN and it was AMAZING. It was so good, in fact, we ranked it a total of 10/10. I still think about it to this day, tbh. Ever since then, every Universal Monsters–related maze automatically gets compared to that for me. While I enjoyed the story of this one — a clash of horror titans, Dracula vs. The Mummy — it didn't quite do it for me this year. There weren't as many scares as I'd hoped for (I think we got unlucky timing-wise), but shoutout to Slash for creating an energetic original score for the maze. Scariness: 3/5, Creativity 3/5
Darren: I always appreciate these throwback mazes with some version of the original Universal Monsters, though they have done better with these in the past. This one was fun but just OK in the scare factor. Scariness: 2/5, Creativity: 3/5
Scare rating: 5/10
Creativity Rating: 6/10
TOTAL: 5.5/10
5. Scarecrow: The Reaping
Crystal: So, apparently scarecrows aren't just great at running crows out of cornfields, but also great at making you want to run out of horror mazes too! In my case, it was because the SMELL inside this maze was awful (on purpose). Imagine burning flesh mixed with manure and that's pretty much what your senses are in for while you dodge creepy scarecrows and other generally gross-looking things. Scariness: 3.5/5, Creativity 3.5/5
Darren: This one was really corny…literally. Corn cobs everywhere. Shoved in victims' mouths, chests, eyes... The main gist of the story is that a scarecrow is fucking people up with corn? I guess. I missed most of the scares since the people in front of me got the bulk of it, so not so scary for me, but kudos for good design and props. Scariness: 2.5/5, Creativity: 2.5/5
Scare rating: 6/10
Creativity Rating: 6/10
TOTAL: 6/10
4. The Horrors of Blumhouse
Crystal: So, I've seen the movie Freaky, and for the life of me I don't remember the Blissfield Butcher's mask, let alone it being SO SCARY? This maze felt really claustrophobic, so having that awful face jump out at you was, let's just say, less than pleasant. But you know what's even MORE unpleasant? Coming face to face with The Grabber from The Black Phone. We were lucky (or unlucky) enough to not have people right in front of us going into this half of the maze, so I was on high alert when we entered The Grabber's house. My only complaint for this one would be that I wish The Black Phone half of the maze had been longer. Scariness: 4/5, Creativity: 3.5/5
Darren: This was front-loaded with lots of Freaky, which was well done but not too scary. Though I did get sprayed with liquid from the mouth of a man choking on a wine bottle, so that’s always…fun? LOL. But when it transitioned into The Black Phone, I was immediately shocked by one of the Grabbers inches from my face and was literally crouched on the ground like a little baby. Screaming and giggling. LOL! I could have used more Black Phone, and I really wanted to see a shirtless Ethan Hawke double sitting in the kitchen with his belt off, but it must’ve been his lunch break. The production design all around on this maze was very good. Scariness 2/5, Creativity: 3/5
Scare rating: 6/10
Creativity Rating: 6.5/10
TOTAL: 6.25/10
3. The Weeknd: After Hours Nightmare
Crystal: As a semi-connoisseur of The Weeknd's music videos, I was PRETTY excited about this maze. First of all, the queue was great, and I literally never say this about queues because I HATE waiting in lines — but, what can I say, it had great music. Anyway, as for the maze itself, from the get-go, I loved the visuals. It had the perfect blend of fun and madness. Was the maze scary? I'd say they got me good like twice (shoutout to the headless mannequin that turned out to be not a mannequin at all), but overall, this wasn't super scary. I will say I did find myself dancing in a few of the rooms, and who's to say what's scarier: my dancing or people jumping out at you in bloody skull masks? Scariness: 2/5, Creativity: 5/5
Darren: Super cool ideas throughout and well executed, but certainly not the scariest. There are some good gross-outs but it is the re-creation of some of his great music videos that makes it worth going through. Plus, it has the best line to wait in, since you get to rock out to The Weeknd's great hits! This one was a blast. Scariness: 2/5, Creativity: 4/5
Scare rating: 4/10
Creativity Rating: 9/10
TOTAL: 6.5/10
2. Halloween
Crystal: Anytime there's a Halloween-verse maze, it makes me happy. I've only ever experienced the Halloween IV maze in the past (twice!), so I was pretty psyched to be checking out a maze based on the OG. This maze pretty faithfully re-creates iconic scenes from the film, which was more fun than scary to experience. But, look, anytime a 6'7" dude with a chef's knife comes at you with a stabbing motion, it's PRETTY SCARY — and this happens A LOT. There's also a really creative and fun bit where you basically have to be Laurie Strode hiding in the closet, and the surprise ending literally made me shout, "I DON'T LIKE THIS!!!" Scariness: 4/5, Creativity 5/5
Darren: As a huge fan of this movie, I was entering with a discerning eye, and this production design was so great and accurate! Everything happened as expected, as it did in the film, which made it super fun to relive in person. And I got zinged by a lot of Michael Myers along the way; it was delightfully fun to shit myself! The best was having to paw through the closet with Michael stabbing away just like in the film. A very creative way of getting us right into the scene. Not the scariest maze, but I did jump a lot nonetheless. It was more fun than anything. Top notch. Scariness: 3.5/5, Creativity 5/5
Scare rating: 7.5/10
Creativity Rating: 10/10
TOTAL: 8.75/10
1. La Llorona: The Weeping Woman
Crystal: Let me just start by saying I was not prepared for how terrifying this maze would be. It. Was. WIIIILD. So, apparently, this maze was a fan favorite way back in 2012, and I can see why. Off the bat, I was like "NOPE" walking into a creepy church full of women draped in all black crying over children in coffins. And, tbh, the rest of the maze is a bit of a nightmare-fueled blur for me (not because I was running through it or anything *nervous laugh*), but what I mainly remember is the horror queen herself, La Llorona, turning into a giant, 10-foot-tall, child-eating monster. BYEEEE! Scariness: 5/5, Creativity 5/5
Darren: Wow, this one was yucky and scary! There’s this fucking skinned horse/man waving its bloody hoofs in your face. Insane! The effects and creature builds were super impressive! A HUGE La Llorona swallowing a live actor was great! Wow, what a fun trip! Scariness: 4.5/5, Creativity 5/5
Scare rating: 9.5/10
Creativity Rating: 10/10
TOTAL: 9.75/10
Bonus: Death Eaters at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Crystal: It was fun to wander through this area with the Death Eaters roaming around. They definitely create more of a ~spooky~ vibe than normal, and it's a decent replacement (albeit a less scary one) for things like the Toxic Tunnel they've done in past years. BTW, the rides in this area are open during HHN and were totally walk-on, so be sure to take advantage of that!
Darren: It was cool to have Hogsmeade open during the event, but the Death Eaters were nothing to write home about. The highlight was being able to go on Flight of the Hippogriff five times in a row! Ha.
Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood runs now through Oct. 31. Dare to check out these scares yourself? Visit Hollywood.HalloweenHorrorNights.com (Los Angeles) or Orlando.HalloweenHorrorNights.com (Orlando) to get more information and to purchase tickets!
