1. This one about an inspiring message:
My 4-yr old just fell off her bike and said, “I fell and it hurt my vagina, but I got right back up.” New motto to live by, ladies.
2. This one about a lack of trust:
I haven’t seen my vagina in a month. My bf says she’s doing good but what the hell do he know.
3. This one about attention-seeking:
Me: Alone at last!! No one demanding my attention. My Vagina: *Ahem* Me: Really? That’s the second time today. Fine.
4. This one about how pretty they can be on their own:
I haven’t been touched in so long my vagina is now purely decorative
5. This one about a lack of ~action~:
My vagina probably thinks I passed away.
6. This one about periods:
None of the fellas from the 🏀 pickup game today knew I was gushing blood from my vagina the whole time. Which I think possibly makes me a goddamn a hero?
7. This one about design flaws:
A swimming costume that didn’t show half my vagina. https://t.co/C82TwbagF0
8. This one about an ~alternative~ Plan B (or C?):
Got pregnant, so I put my vagina in some rice.
9. This one about underwhelming reality:
i cannot imagine the agony of pushing someone out of my vagina only for them to give me a mug and a box of chocolates 20 years later
10. This one about trying to make OB-GYN visits more entertaining:
Gynecologist: Ok Kelley, if you’ll just slide all the way down on the table. My vagina: Oh great, this asshole again? Gyno: Me: Gyno: Me: Gyno: Kelley, for the last time stop making your vagina talk. It makes me uncomfortable. My vagina: Shut up, pussy.
11. This one about 100% not caring:
We are fine with roomy vaginas so it’s okay. https://t.co/Y237YhEwA8
12. This one about catchy phrases:
Did my vagina write these ads
13. This one about a vagina analogy:
My vagina is like my body's draft folder. I don't really use it enough and I'm often confused about why I put something in there.
14. This one about a goofy nickname:
I call my vagina Vagyver because it can fix just about anything. THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME.
15. And this one, too:
found a new name for my vagina
16. And ALSO this one:
So if I put sprinkles on my vagina ..is that clit bait?
17. And finally, this one about being mortally offended:
I once accidentally sent a photo of my vagina to my son's guidance counselor and she emailed me saying she had received a "very disturbing image" from me and I'm still waiting for an apology.