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    100 Period Tweets That Will Make Anyone Who Has One Laugh Then Cry

    "[arm falls off] probably cuz my period’s soon."



    [arm falls off] probably cuz my period’s soon


    7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?" Me "Yes" 7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"


    me to my girls after running to the bathroom thinking I got my period


    I just looked at my cat, said “you’re my best friend bud” then started crying for some reason so I guess my period is almost here.


    MY PERIOD: has been arriving with regularity for about 17 years, meaning I have experienced it more than 200 times ME EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MONTH, BUCKLING SIDEWAYS OUT OF MY CHAIR: oh what the whole holy FUCKhell is happening


    How I look at ibuprofen on my period


    Womanhood is great until it's days before your period and you burst into tears watching an old man paying for a bag of oranges with dimes.


    I just said to someone “im as sad as ive ever been & don’t know why” And on the word “why” got my period


    When I put in a new tampon and five minutes later think, "but did I take out my old tampon?"


    putting my overheating macbook charger on my stomach to help period cramps because I’m a modern woman



    Did I break out bc I wore makeup or because I used a new makeup remover or because I’m gonna be on my period in a week or bc I’ve been eating or bc I’m sad or bc I’m stressed ? Which is it


    I see lots of tampon brands claiming to be best for being active, but which brand is best for curling up on the couch in fetal position?


    It comforts me to know Michelle gets PMS too.


    You know what pisses me off? The fact that I have to “pay” to be on my period. A natural body process for women and I have to PAY for feminine hygiene products???? Even in public restroom. A man probably thought of that.


    nobody: me on my period: do u still like me lol


    My period: *5 mins late* Me already in the bathroom mirror practicing poses for my maternity shoot:


    I'm too lazy to put a tampon in so I'm just making new period panties


    Period:🎶Guess who's back... Back again🎶 Me: Ugh, can we not do this today? Period: I can come back in 9 months? Me: Keep fucking singing.


    Send prayers & good wishes for the guy who tried to pick my pocket on the luas, took out a tampon, got mortified & tried to put it back.


    A woman cut in front of me at the store with a box of tampons, ice cream, and wine in her cart. I wasn’t about to mess with that situation.


    When you sneeze while on your period and feel The Great Flood in your underwear


    me(on my period): omg this is the worst, most inconvenient thing ever i never want to experience this again me(period is late): well...fuck.


    burst into tears at end of cardio class cuz I was overwhelmed by the strength & beauty of the other women so yes ok I may have my period


    pill company: please take only two every six hours me on my period and on my second box of pills in an hour:


    Me when i have my period boobs


    I know I'm on my period because I found a yogurt in the back of my fridge I didn't know I had and started crying


    Me: Let's see Wonder Woman! Him: We already did. Me: I know but I'm on my period now so it'll be even better this time! Him: Wait, what?


    My period: “Is this your uterus?”


    A good name for a feminist tampon company would be Gravitas


    me: *gets a cramp* me: *dramatically stares into the distance* me: menses is coming


    On a scale from 1 to 10 my PMS has reached a Lady MacBeth.



    My period lasts longer than a cabinet position in the White House.


    The human body is composed of 70% water, or before your period 90%


    her: i’m on my period nooo me: i like my steak medium rare, now lay yo ass down


    guys for real whose animals are these bc i’m on my period and bawling


    told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??" it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.


    how do i know i’m about to get my period? i’m listening to ‘no limit’ and staring out the window and almost started crying. ......who cries over ‘no limit’


    I’m on my period. My 4 yr old just burst into the bathroom when I was using it and saw me, turned around and ran out, screaming “DADDY! Mommy’s DYING!!!!” Pros and cons. CON- I think I scarred him for life PRO- I think I can pee by myself for a few days


    Me: I love babies so much, can't wait to have a mini me *period is late by 2 hours* me:


    You should bare minimum get a carnival prize for accurately guessing the exact hour your period shows up


    I’m currently crying while sitting on my bed and eating watermelon cubes with a fork gripped in my hand prongs up like a child because I’m on my period and emotional about life and how much I love watermelon. Ovaries are weird, man.


    13 yr old me: yuck periods, so fucking embarrassing, must hide all my sanitary products in shame ! me, present day: BITCH I AM BLEEDING & THE TOILET LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING CRIME SCENE. I AM IN PAIN & I’M NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT. HELLO MA’AM, YES YOU, DID YOU KNOW I AM ON MY PERIOD?


    There’s only one thing worse than getting your period


    I just called 911 and told them my tampon is missing and they said they can’t put out a missing person report on it ... um I never asked that I ask for a ambulance to get this shit out of me like wtf


    My cat just stepped on my period boobs and my life flashed before my eyes.


    Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example: I'm on my way I'm on my period


    The cashier at CVS looked appalled when I told her I didn’t need a bag for my box of tampons. Maybe I want people to know I’m on my period so they will leave me the fuck alone, SANDRA


    me when im bloated and sad bc of my period so i beat my face but im still bloated and sad


    The little boy I nanny, who is 8 years old, stepped off the bus today holding onto his hip with the weirdest look on his face and when I asked him what was wrong he responded, “I’ve been dreading this moment, but I think I’m finally starting my period” LMAO


    am i wet for no reason or did i just start my period a memoir


    me to my uterus while on my period: PLS STOP THIS I CAN'T TAKE IT HURTS SO BAD!!!!!!!! my uterus: my uterus: ... my uterus: my uterus:... my uterus: my uterus:


    If yo dick game don’t start my period early lower your voice when you talk to me


    i wanna know how much money my paranoid ass has spent on pregnancy tests bc i’m 4 hours late on my period


    My period coming late to my uterus on the first day of the next month


    My period: k I'm out Me: you sure? Got all your shit? My period: yeah Me: ARE YOU SURE????? My period: yeah, for sure, bye. *doesn't wear pad/tampon* My period: actually wait, let me halla at you for a second.........


    Me trying to move when I’m on my period


    who i am and who i am on my period are two completely different bitches


    me on my period: • extra clingy • fucking mad at everyone who gets in my way • mood changes every half an hour • craving for everything • eat 24/7 • want to be cuddled or hugged • negative and sensitive af • period cramps **also me when im not on my period**


    me whenever i’m on my period


    I complained to my friend that I had really bad period cramps. She said, ‘Mine went away when I had a baby, you should try that.’ And she was right. It worked. My period pain completely went away when I imagined how much worse it would be to have a baby.


    i am: ⚪️ male ⚪️ female 🔘 using my hot laptop bottom to help my period cramps


    I had a dream about my ex boyfriend then woke up on my period idk how but it’s his fault. men truly ain’t shit.


    ME: I’m going to have a productive day! MY PERIOD: how about instead of that you take two naps ME:... MY PERIOD: while I stab you from the inside with all my tiniest knives


    This is me every time my period ends and i realize its gunna happen every single month until i hit menopause in the VERY VERY far future


    When I accidentally use a super-plus tampon on the sixth day of my period & try to take it out


    my period can’t even sneak up on me anymore. there’s a specific kind of stomach pain I get & I’m like “yep hell is upon me”.. being a girl sucks


    is my period trying to kill me, episode ten thousand nine hundred and ninety two



    Menstrual cramps are just free samples of what giving birth feels like


    "Oh duh, it's PMS, it all makes sense now," she mumbled through chocolate-smeared lips as the house burned behind her.


    Advil trying to soothe my period cramps:


    if you wanna get your period just wear your nicest, fanciest underwear and let karma do the rest


    I’m hungry but too tired to eat I hate pants my back hurts go away but bring me chocolate I hate everyone please love me! –Me on my period


    I like to discuss my heavy flow on first dates, so men know that I'm fertile.


    "But cramps can't be that ba-" Excuse me:


    Wow uterus. Sorry I didn't get you pregnant. No need to throw a temper tantrum.



    When you're on your period and need to shower but there's only white towels left.


    FSH, estrogen and progesterone joining forces to fuck me up during my period


    I know I'm about to get my period because I saw one of those ASPCA commercials 3 hours ago & I'm still crying


    when you have to go somewhere but you're on your period


    a woman's period is like once a month her body accidentally hits caps lock on her emotions


    When you ask if anyone has a spare tampon, and they do.


    Hidden camera footage of the exact moment my period starts


    Sneezing on your period and giving birth to a jelly fish .


    Me taking 4 pain killers My period pains :


    One day you are on top of the world, the next day you are getting your tampon string caught up in your hairy bush.


    Me: *waking up* This will be another beautiful and productive day!! Period cramps:


    It’s International Women’s Day, ladies. Don’t forget to put period blood on your doorposts so the Angel of Actually passes over your house.


    Nobody: My period, the morning I have somewhere important to be:


    started my period finally, thought i was pregnant from freshman year


    When your period arrives and then all your moods make sense


    How are tampons and pads not a free normality by now? Like if my period came on unexpectedly while at a restaurant, I should be able to ask the waiter for a “glass of water and a heavy flow pad on the side”




    If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.


    Now everyone keeps tweeting me about sneezing while on their period. I've never regretted a tweet so much.