Response to What’s Your Worst Poop Horror Story?:
The first time it happened I was at my in-laws house for Christmas. About two-days after we arrived, I was obviously very sick…fever, runny nose, achy, the whole nine yards. Luckily, my husband and I had the downstairs part of the house to ourselves, where I could just lay in bed and moan. I was so sick, we ended up having to delay our flight home. The first day I felt “normal” again, my husband brought me Taco Bell as a treat, as I hadn’t really eaten anything, and well, he felt like having Taco Bell. About half an hour later, the pains hit. As molten lava evacuated itself from me, the tunnel vision struck. I was teetering on the toilet praying that the liquid poo would finish before I passed out! It didn’t. The next thing I know, my husband was standing over me asking, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” The pain from the diarrhea had cause me to pass clean out, causing a huge crashing sound as my body slid off the toilet into the glass shower door. The loud noise drew my husband to check on me, where he found me lodged between the toilet bowl and the shower doors…my face mashed up against the glass. As I came to, and the realization that I passed out on the pot hit me, I was flooded with humiliation. I quickly pulled my pants up and my husband supported me to get the hell out of there and away from the most offensive odor imaginable. As the bathroom door opened, my father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and brother-in-law’s girlfriend were all standing outside the bathroom door, wondering what had happened. We surprised them coming out so quickly and I got to witness their faces as we were all engulfed with the fumes of my putrid sickness! The second time it happened, I woke up in the middle of the night with sever pains from food poisoning, compliments of a large Mexican restaurant dinner. Not wanting to disturb my sleeping husband, I quietly made my way to the guest restroom, where I rocked and moaned myself to ease the unbelievable stomach cramps that accompanied the stream of liquid spewing from me! This time, as the tunnel vision struck, I didn’t have time to contemplate what was about to befall me. And fall I did! With no shower door to catch me, I unceremoniously came to with my face flat against the tile floor, and my bare ass sticking straight in the air, my knees tucked up underneath me! I quickly pushed myself back up onto the toilet as another wave of cramps started. Apparently, I moved to quickly, as I came too again, this time, sprawled out on my stomach across the bathroom floor, having pass out twice from one sh*t! To date there have been no further incidents!