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50 Things Everyone Thinks During A Soccer Match

That was a dive, ref! While no soccer match is the same, you can always count on certain things to happen every. single. time. Brought to you by Crest.

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While waiting for the game to start:

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1. Jersey? Check. Face paint? Check. Twitter? #Check.

2. These soccer players and their haircuts.

3. These tattoo sleeves really are a good look though. Everyone is copying the soccer players these days.

4. THIS PLACE IS GREAT. WHAT A GREAT PLACE FOR A GAME. WHOA I CAN'T EVEN HEAR MYSELF THINK.

5. Some of these fans have some powerful breath though. Please point that hot air elsewhere.

6. People are saying we're the underdog. Wouldn't have it any other way. Bring it on.

7. Stop. #twittertime

During the first half:

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8. The first 10 minutes of every game are like the first 10 minutes of an awkward first date — no one wants to make the first move.

9. Wait, never mind. Good shot.

10. REF R U BLIND?! R U BLIND REF?!

11. WHAT A SHOT!

12. UGH. This game is way too close.

13. Are my friends watching this? Let me see if they're watching this.

14. Ha, why is the ref spraying shaving cream on the field?

15. Oh, it marks where the ball goes, as well as the wall, on free kicks. Apparently it disappears?

16. What is up with those guys wearing different colored cleats on either foot?

17. I could use a snack. Should I get something to eat? I wonder what's in the kitc— GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!

18. One million high fives for random strangers everywhere! Woohooo!!!

19. 1-0, us. Game. On.

At halftime:

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20. HALFTIME! 15 minutes to use the bathroom, grab snacks, and maybe tweet here and there.

21. These halftime match analysts are discussing the game as if it were the stock exchange.

During the second half:

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22. Start of the second half is basically like the start of the first half.

23. Wait, WHAT?! THEY SCORED? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

24. 1-1, ties are never fun. Unless you're making Brazil's life difficult. In which case, HA!

25. My heart is broken.

26. Not sure if soccer or Hollywood right now. So much acting and flopping up in here.

27. Not sure if i can keep watching this game. It's too much.

28. Our keeper is so hardcore. What a brick wall.

29. This is getting really intense.

30. Keeper comes up big AGAIN! Nothing can get past this guy!

31. Where would we be without our keeper. I might be in love.

32. The more offensive of a position you play, the more you probably care about your appearance.

33. What does it mean when the fans are whistling like that?

34. And how do fans manage to smuggle in a small brass band like that?

35. The closer to the end of the game we get, the more long balls both teams attempt.

36. So many shots, so few goals.

37. My heart is probably not supposed to beat this fast.

38. Will this game end already! Please, someone just score!

39. Everyone is breathing so heavily. Not gonna lie, smells a little funky up in here.

40. OMG, four minutes extra time.

41. Still 1-1.

42. THAT WAS A FOUL, REF! COME ON NOW!

43. OMG, this possession around the box. Can we… is it possible?!

44. Penalty in the box!!!!! I can't take this much longer!

45. [bites nails]

46. GOAL! GOAL! AAAHHHHHHH! GOAAAALLLLL!!!!

47. ♫ We are the champions ♫

48. EVERYONE IS MY FRIEND! I LOVE EVERYONE!

49. Wow I just hugged so many people.

50. We won. Life is complete. Onward to victory!

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