Listen Up, Canada, We Need To Talk About Donairs
There are some straight up donair crimes being committed and it needs to stop.
Hi folks! Like all Nova Scotians, I was baptized in donair sauce at the age of seven and still practice my meat shaving skills daily. Donairs are serious business for Nova Scotians. They're in our blood as much as they fill our bellies. Lookie here:
Right now, the donair is having a moment. Here's what I mean: King of Donair, an iconic Halifax donair chain, announced it would have two pop-up shops in Alberta this month. They did the first one in Calgary and 400 people lined up. FOUR HUNDRED.
This comes on the heels of more and more places opening up in other parts of Canada promising "Nova Scotian" or "East Coast Style" or "Halifax Donairs."
Decades later, the donair is becoming something for all of Canada, which is great! But it also means places like the Food Network are massacring its essence in a bid to make it more accessible to people:
Lots of people objected. I mean, look at this thing:
People in Halifax had a field day with it:
As the donair gets more popular, there is some serious bullshit happening.
Oh look, here's a healthy, homemade take on the donair with what appears to be feta cheese and some nice fresh veggies on top. IT'S AN ABOMINATION.
Sorry. I know we Nova Scotians get really heated when people fuck with the donair. We seem a bit crazy. But we have our reasons, so let me try and explain.
It's a sweet, spicy, greasy mixture that was created specifically for Nova Scotians. In order to eat one you have to give up all pretensions and just give'r. It's incredibly adffordable, and it always leaves you feeling full.
It inspires a lot of passion.
Halifax city council recently voted to make it the city's official food. And here's how the mayor celebrates Christmas:
Look at these beautiful people:
So if you're going to call it a donair, do it right. "A donair has four basic elements: donair meat, sauce, bread and toppings," says Neil MacFarlane of Donairs I Have Known. "Anything purporting to be a donair that doesn't have these attributes is a fraud."
He has eaten and reviewed donairs all over the city. And he's seen what people in other provinces are starting to call a "donair."
"I've seen people put cheese, pepperoni, lettuce, green peppers and even pineapples on their donairs," he says. "These people are lunatics and their opinions do not reflect those of us on the East Coast."