back to top

The Only Way To Save America Is To Elect Canada In 2016

Vote Canada in 2016.

Posted on

"As your whitest neighbour, we realize you don't think about us very much." But we in Canada are concerned about you people down there.

Brian Calvert / Via

"Your country is on fire, and your leaders are whittling sticks for their marshmallows."


Who would run the U.S. if the Canada Party was elected? Good question, eagle humper. "Not me, not Prime Minister centrefold," the party spokesman says. Each Canadian would take a shift in charge, because that's how we do things in Soviet Canuckistan.

The Canada Party previously ran in 2012, but Americans went for the safe choice. It's OK. "We were a little disappointed when you didn't elect us in 2012. But we're Canada, so we just went to the doctor and got our feelings checked for free."

Brian Calvert / Via

In terms of campaign promises, you can read their full platform here.

Notably, they would legalize weed in the U.S. "so you can stop worrying about terrorists, and start worrying about your cat stealing your ideas."

Watch the whole video here:

View this video on YouTube

Brian Calvert / Via