"Hello America it's us, Canada," begins a new campaign video from the Canada Party. Its goal is to have America elect Canada as its next president. They have a strong pitch. Listen up, America!
"As your whitest neighbour, we realize you don't think about us very much." But we in Canada are concerned about you people down there.
Then there's the Trump stuff.
"So we are once again declaring our Canada-cy for president of the United States of America."
Who would run the U.S. if the Canada Party was elected? Good question, eagle humper. "Not me, not Prime Minister centrefold," the party spokesman says. Each Canadian would take a shift in charge, because that's how we do things in Soviet Canuckistan.
The Canada Party previously ran in 2012, but Americans went for the safe choice. It's OK. "We were a little disappointed when you didn't elect us in 2012. But we're Canada, so we just went to the doctor and got our feelings checked for free."
Oh and BTW America: The Canada Party is way ahead of you if you end up electing a candidate who wants to build a wall along our shared border.