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This Canadian Mayor Wrote The Best Response To A Reporter Who Threw Shade At His City

"We are now resting on the front porch drinking beer and chewing tabacca."

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The Globe And Mail published a detailed look at safety issues that have arisen during the construction of a power plant near Sarnia, Ont.

The story included this line:

When the Liberals gave Eastern a new gas plant contract in 2011, the government was determined to avoid the political hassles that sank the Mississauga project. So they put it where locals were certain to have no objection: Sarnia.

The reporter, Adrian Morrow, wrote that Sarnia "residents are used to living near oil and gas facilities." The suggestion was that they wouldn't have a problem with the plant being located in their area.

Well, the Mayor of Sarnia, Mike Bradley, read the story and immediately had objections. So he sat down and wrote a badass rebuttal that The Globe And Mail's public editor published.

"Hey Adrian," the letter began. "Hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name as that is what we do down here in Sarnia since we are all related to each other." Nice, opening, Mr. Mayor. It gets better.

Bradley poked fun at The Globe and what he sees as its big-city attitude towards Sarnia:

Me and some of the 'locals' as you call us were talking about your story in that Big City newspaper, The Globe and Mail, yesterday about the gas plants. Only get one copy of the paper here, which is brought into town by horseback and those of us who can read sit around sharing the stories. Usually read it on the verandah of Uncle Festus' corner store which also serves as the Town Hall/Jail and the Pony Express Head Office.

Mayor Bradley, everyone.

Via giphy.com

The mayor moved on to his central objection: the gas plant isn't actually located in Sarnia.

Bradley wrote:

"We are now resting on the front porch drinking beer and chewing tabacca exhausted after having spent the last 24 hours walking all over Sarnia trying to find the gas plant in your story. It turns out it is located deep down south from Sarnia in St. Clair Township. Presume future stories will mention that the other cancelled gas plant was to be in Oakville which is near Oshawa.

(Oakville and Oshawa are close to 100 km away from each other.)

Bradley told BuzzFeed Canada he "Could have written a boring eye glazing Mayor's letter of concer‎n that no one would read or instead use humour to respond to the article."

He also said that the "Plant is 25km outside of Sarnia and to this day [I] have never spoke to the owners of the company. And the impression that the people here would accept any type of plant is an assumption that is patronizing and incorrect."
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He also said that the "Plant is 25km outside of Sarnia and to this day [I] have never spoke to the owners of the company. And the impression that the people here would accept any type of plant is an assumption that is patronizing and incorrect."

The reporter admired his honour's effort.

Best thing you will read all day: a satiric letter to me from the Mayor of Sarnia (scroll to the bottom) http://t.co/poB4Fq8xY0

He also took some additional heat from some, er, locals for the story.

@AdrianMorrow well, of course you did. You lowered to Sarnia-baiting, a ancient and cheap tactic. But you took the riposte with good nature.

At least we can all agree that Mayor Bradley needs to get on Twitter. And that #UncleFestus should be a thing.

@Nut_Graf I want to start an #UncleFestus hashtag

Here's the mayor's full letter:

Hey Adrian: Hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name as that is what we do down here in Sarnia since we are all related to each other.

Me and some of the 'locals' as you call us were talking about your story in that Big City newspaper, The Globe and Mail, yesterday about the gas plants. Only get one copy of the paper here, which is brought into town by horseback and those of us who can read sit around sharing the stories. Usually read it on the verandah of Uncle Festus' corner store which also serves as the Town Hall/Jail and the Pony Express Head Office.

We are now resting on the front porch drinking beer and chewing tabacca exhausted after having spent the last 24 hours walking all over Sarnia trying to find the gas plant in your story. It turns out it is located deep down south from Sarnia in St. Clair Township. Presume future stories will mention that the other cancelled gas plant was to be in Oakville which is near Oshawa.

You go on to write/type 'So they put it where locals were certain to have no objection: Sarnia.' Yup, you're right, we didn't have any objections cause we didn't know the plant was being relocated from Mississauga (Near Barrie) to the area till the telegraph operator got the message (Urgent: Liberals seek Gas Relief) from Tarana when everyone else did in Ontario.

We are simple people and instead of wasting all of that money on the new gas plant, we the 'locals' thought the now-closed Lambton Generating Station should be retrofitted to use natural gas and keep that large workforce working, keep the tax assessment providing benefits to the region and continuing to provide cheap power to Ontario. But ain't complaining as we are used to things being imposed on us from Tarana that we are supposed to like for examples Wind Turbines, Toronto Garbage, paying for subways in the GTA, Ben Mulroney and the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Cheers

Mayor Mike Bradley on behalf of the "locals."

Craig Silverman is a media editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in Toronto.

Contact Craig Silverman at craig.silverman@buzzfeed.com.

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