But what we didn't tell you is that if one Frankenstein-knits together all of the Episode VII rumors -- regardless of veracity -- you end up with THE MOST EXCITING STAR WARS TO STAR WAR IN THE STARS. Don't believe us? Read our draft below. Be sure…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Hurricanes, tornadoes, avalanches, Johnny Cash -- all well-known sources of disaster. The damage they cause is tragic, but at least they come from an understandable place. You can see the storm clouds brewing, or that the whiskey bottle is 3/4…

Cracked • 4 years ago

For the most part, having a medically restricted diet is not all that bad. It's much better than having Fingers Falling Off Syndrome, or some sort of condition that makes all dogs hate you. But there's some things a lot of people don't get. For…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Understanding all the connotations a word has and picking the one that best suits your purposes is one of the most critical skills you can have when writing or public speaking. Politicians and pundits are masters of this, regularly using language…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Most people are only extraordinarily great at one thing (if that) and celebrities are no different. But there are exceptions, famous people who mastered skills that have nothing to do with what we know them for.

Cracked • 4 years ago

You ever have that funny friend, the class clown type, who one day just stopped being funny around you? Did it make you think they were depressed? Because it's far more likely that, in reality, that was the first time they were comfortable enough…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Now, here's the question: When people ask you the same thing now (phrased as, "What are your long-term goals?" or, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?") will your answer look just as stupid 10 years from now? For most of us ... yeah, it will.…

Cracked • 4 years ago

I've worked as a veterinarian tech for seven years, and I've seen people make all kinds of stupid decisions with regard to their furry friends. Let's learn from their mistakes, shall we?

Cracked • 4 years ago

We asked our readers to conjure up the worst text messages possible to receive (or not). The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

Cracked • 4 years ago

The latest viral buzz from cracked.com

Cracked • 4 years ago

All my life, there have been certain things I've wanted but never owned. It hasn't been due to expense or illegality (with the exception of that one mail-order sex robot I saw). Instead, I felt that I just wasn't cool enough to use these things.…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Mark Hipwood spent 15 years providing medical aid to isolated villages in the Pacific Islands. Cracked sat down with him to learn the pains, pitfalls, frustrations, and reams of B.S. that go along with trying to make the world a better place. He…

Cracked • 4 years ago

As we've pointed out before, science has been forced to conduct some pretty depraved experiments in the name of furthering the march of knowledge. Human sexuality is a complicated thing, and in the name of research sometimes you just have to roll up…

Cracked • 4 years ago

We assume the studio's exact words were, 'We want the audience to crap themselves so hard that they can't even walk when the movie ends.'

Cracked • 4 years ago

There are thousands of guides for the newly pregnant, but most guides for people whose friends have been infested with a growing organism just tell them to run and open the airlock. And are misfiled in the "horror" section. Which is why I've…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Death is the one item on the human fear list that is goddamned guaranteed to one day meet us all. As such, every culture has ample time to worry about it and, of course, make plans on how to deal with it. Knowing that, and given humankind's penchant…

Cracked • 4 years ago

I get the general idea of equality, of course -- I'm not nearly four-fifths as dumb as I sound most times -- but if we're being nitpicky, the fact is there are certain areas of life in which men will inevitably be superior to women, and other areas…

Cracked • 4 years ago

The thing about men getting advice on women is that it's mostly them just asking other men. And men are pretty dumb.

Cracked • 4 years ago

Ahem. Anyway, that's not always the case. Sometimes, money isn't the only reason for making characters from different companies meet -- because sometimes, the companies don't even know it's happening. Here are four times writers from rival…

Cracked • 4 years ago

Yeah, it's funny how we rewrite history to make the present look worse. Because in reality, there's shit from your great-grandfather's day that would instantly get nailed with an NC-17 rating today:

Cracked • 4 years ago