Apply Salve Before Sampling YouTube's 'Chapstick Girl'
“This makes me SO uncomfortable,” the Facebook post says. Below is a hyperlink to YouTube. I click on it and I meet a pimply-faced, rotund teenage girl. Her bulbous frame, clad in a red T-shirt, fills the computer screen. Her face rests gently on her left hand, and she emits a Napoleon Dynamite-esque sigh. She rubs her lips, and declares that they hurt. “Where’s the chapstick?” she asks herself. And then, precisely 11 seconds into the video, it dawns on her -- it’s song time. For the next 90 seconds I'm entranced by high-pitched beat boxing punctuated by “Where’s the chapstick?!,” and then finally “I found the chapstick!!” in a goofy-as-shit voice.