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26 Things That Will Only Ever Happen In A Houseshare

It's not just you — these things are happening in every houseshare ever. When the Post-Its drive you crazy, head to the pub for some Crabbie's Fruits.

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1. You will wake up to find you have acquired a brown couch.

Matt MacGillivray (CC BY http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

2. You will witness someone buy a sack of rice so huge they need help carrying it home, then watch them live off it for two months straight.

3. You will interview complete strangers about their cleaning habits.

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Eg. Do they have any? Can you bear to live with this person?

4. Halfway through the day you will realise the underpants you’re wearing are not your underpants.

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Do you take it in your stride or do you make an emergency trip to M&S?

5. Someone will turn vegan for a week and put a blanket rule down re: the eating of bacon in the house.

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None of that.

6. You will dry yourself not being entirely certain you’re the only one doing so with this particular towel.

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You will also find an entire face imprint of toothpaste on your towel and launch a month-long investigation into whodunnit.

7. The mugs will disappear one by one.

... But return en masse.
Ewen Roberts (CC BY http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

... But return en masse.

8. Someone’s mum will visit and everyone will clean their rooms even though it’s not their mum.

9. It will be socially acceptable to drink tea out of a gravy boat.

Everything else was dirty!
Ray Dehler (CC BY http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

Everything else was dirty!

10. You will never see a radiator that’s not covered in someone else’s socks.

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11. Your bedsheets will disappear from the line, reappear six months later, and you won’t know what happened between these two events.

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You will buy more bedsheets than you’ve ever bought in your life and learn the following thing: it is possible to buy bedsheets so cheap they actually melt in the dryer.

12. At some point someone will be amazed to discover your food is not communal.

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How long has this been going on?!

13. Cheese will be stolen by someone who knows to take slices off two sides, thus maintaining the same aspect ratio.

This is the mark of a houseshare veteran.
ThreeIfByBike (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

This is the mark of a houseshare veteran.

14. You will realise just how thin walls can be.

And you will learn things about your housemates you can never unlearn.
thinkstockphotos.com / Via thinkstockphotos.com

And you will learn things about your housemates you can never unlearn.

15. You will find going to bed in your winter coat far preferable to phoning a guy to fix the boiler.

A couple of nights of this and someone else will do it.
thinkstockphotos.com / Via thinkstockphotos.com

A couple of nights of this and someone else will do it.

16. Someone will try to disguise regular milk as soy milk to stop other people stealing it.

17. You won’t see a particular housemate for months but you shall know them by their trail of Post-Its.

You can also work out if someone still lives with you by whether or not their food is being eaten/their shampoo is disappearing.
Danielle Scott (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

You can also work out if someone still lives with you by whether or not their food is being eaten/their shampoo is disappearing.

18. When laundry days collide you will engineer your own private line in your bedroom.

You'll be too lazy to take it down and live like this forever.
devopstom (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

You'll be too lazy to take it down and live like this forever.

19. You will watch, daily, as a bottle of milk three months out of date expands slowly with gas. You will not throw it out because:

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Also because you didn’t buy it. If you throw out the three-months-out-of-date milk someone will get mad at you for throwing out their milk. You will then have to replace the milk.

20. Someone will try to do a Guy Fawkes bonfire in the lounge.

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Or at least they'll say that's what they were doing. Y'know, on purpose.

21. A housemate’s friend will come to stay and never leave.

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Yeah, he lives here now.

22. The smoke alarm’s batteries will be removed to power a TV remote and never be replaced.

Like this, forever.
Katy Warner (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

Like this, forever.

23. You will perform DIY insulation on the cracks in your wall with shopping bags.

LOOK UPON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY
Bennett (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via flic.kr

LOOK UPON MY WORKS YE MIGHTY

24. You will come home with someone so awful that a housemate will make an executive decision and refuse them entry at the door.

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You owe this housemate dinner.

25. The light will go in the front room and the only spare bulb in the house will be a novelty bulb.

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Disco, every night, until someone can be bothered to change it.

26. You will witness dinner experiments that will never be repeated elsewhere.

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Penne pasta with baked beans sauce, anyone?

Why not try something different and experiment with Crabbie's Fruits?

Enjoy Crabbie’s responsibly.

For the facts drinkaware.co.uk