Tell me if this sounds familiar: Jan 1 rolls around, and you’ve got your list of resolutions ready. But then after a couple of weeks, you hear yourself saying you’ll go workout, then find yourself watching Netflix. Or you said you want to start drinking more water, but you discover your hand has a mind of its own as you watch it reach for another cup of coffee mid-afternoon (oh, has that only happened to me?)
Most people go about setting New Years’ resolutions the wrong way. That’s why the average New Years Resolution lasts a grand freakin’ total of twelve days. So if you’re like most, barely two weeks into your “new year, new me,” you wind up right back where you started: “new year, same me, better luck next time.”
If you’re one of those people who doesn’t like to waste your time on things that don’t work, here’s the shortlist for why you should ditch New Year’s resolutions — and what to do, instead.
1. New Year’s resolutions aren’t the most effective way to achieve your goals — because they only scratch the surface of real change.
2. By definition, “resolution” means deciding to do or not do something — and this all-or-nothing mentality can set you up to fail, because the moment you “slip up,” you give up.
3. Resolutions are difficult to measure — which creates a tendency to focus on the progress you haven’t made, vs. the progress you are making.
4. People tend to set too many resolutions at once — which leads to them achieving none at all.
5. Most resolutions aren’t specific enough — and without a concrete plan of action to achieve them, your brain will fight back and resist change.
6. People tend to overestimate what they can achieve — so they talk themselves out of doing the work required to achieve it.
7. Real change takes time — but culturally we’re conditioned for instant gratification, which makes it easy to give up before you see any progress.
8. People tend to confuse resolutions with goals — resolutions and goals are two different things, with two different meanings.
9. You can set goals for yourself anytime of year — you don’t have to wait until Jan 1, so skip the hype.
10. Real change happens at an identity level — which is why focusing on an outcome you want makes it harder to achieve it (psych!)
So if you want to set yourself up for failure, set a New Year's resolution. If you want lasting success, keep reading.
Most people have lists of things they want to change, but a “divide-and-conquer” mentality doesn’t work when it comes to goal-setting, because your brain is hard-wired to resist change. That’s why it’s such a struggle to focus on more than one thing at once (which is why you should also stop multitasking, yo. But that’s another article).
If you want to create a new habit or change an unwanted behavior, you’ve gotta change who you’re being to get the result you want.
Instead of saying “I’m not eating carbs this year,” (because please, who can last longer than two weeks on a goal like that?!) saying “I’m the type of person who eats like a healthy person” is more effective long-term.
This small shift from what you don’t want (extra weight, clothes that don’t fit, etc) to what you do want (to be a healthier person) helps you stay motivated, and by identifying who you want to become in the process of achieving said goal (e.g, a healthier, fit person) it tricks your brain into making choices that align with your desired outcome.
TLDR? Here’s the cheat sheet:
DO change habits one at a time
DO focus on who you’re becoming in the process of changing that habit
DO find a tangible way to measure your progress
DO reward yourself when you reach your desired outcome
DON’T focus on more than one goal at a time
DON’T set goals that are too big, too broad, or not specific enough
DON’T wait ‘til January 1st to set goals
And most of all, DON’T give up if you don’t hit your goal in the timeframe you wanted. Pro NFL players never move the endzone; they adjust the plays to get there.
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