2. Commando it is, at ALL times.
3. The ONLY thing clear about this Staples sign is that they don’t care about their customers(‘) comfort.
4. Oh Coca-Cola, you are the undisputed king of soda. So embarrassing.
5. He’s not sorry, he ain’t closing at 4:15, and no thank you.
6. If there’s one word to never put in quotes, it’s “beer” — unless of course, we’re talking Budweiser.
7. Translation: “Momentarily” out of order. Perfect.
8. Retro! Yeah mom, you’ll get a night off the day after never.
9. Wait, is it “free” or complimentary? Jesus, so fucking confused.
10. So they’ve named themselves “Best Funeral Home” two years running.
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