Maniacal woman’s resolution is to kill you as soon as possible.
THESE ARE METAPHORS.
After staying up all night, editing my stupid list, this is the final draft.
Just for you, ladies!
Girlie dumbbell and chocolate and an exclamation point!
“Man looking at cigarette (contemplating eating it).”
“Teenage girl with nicotine patch quitting smoking”
Get that fucking smile off your face.
“Man with belly pooch looks at workout device”
All images via Getty Images.