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10 Vintage Phallic Ads

Sometimes, a cigar was just a cigar. And sometimes, it wasn't.

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1.

It's a Dicknic!

Take a good look at the ad. The foreground woman has one penis-y bottle in her hands while being force-fed a dog. Background woman is showing Chip how much of his dog she can fit in her maw at once. I don’t know about the sexual orientation of the fifth-wheel dude, but he’s making damn sure we notice the bananas. Then, there are the extra dogs, the knives, the shirt stripes — even the pattern on the basket looks like erect penises.

2.

Is that Thrush header muffler a phallic symbol? (Yes.) Is that the Grim Reapress? (I don't know.) And is the Donny Osmond doppelgänger wearing a flame-retardant drag racing suit or some terrible '70s outfit? (I don't know.)

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Related: here are 13 modern phallic ads.

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