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    Sep 17, 2013

    From The Valley Of The Jolly Green Giant Penis

    In a new web video, the Green Giant vegetable brand goes blue.

    View this video on YouTube

    The Jolly Green Giant used to be really, really creepy.

    But, that was unintentional (probably, I can't say for sure).

    Now, he's really, really well hung.

    In a new web video, "Extra Vegetable Affair," a man catches his wife "cheating." Geoff hears his wife moaning ecstatically — with something in her mouth — until she then says "soo much bigger than I'm used to," which makes Geoff break down in tears (As any man would upon hearing such words, I hear).

    But! Ends up, after spokes-douche Robert Benet kicks down the unlocked bedroom door, Amy is just sliding big vegetables in her mouth.

    Pretty racy stuff from a 100+-year-old Minnesota brand (now owned by General Mills).

    But as Adage points out, this is now an actual trend with formerly-conservative companies.

    Unfortunately, Saatchi & Saatchi failed at making the video appealing, or even very funny.

    As with most of these longform YouTube ads, this one is too long by half.

    A second spot from the campaign, below, featuring a gay couple is slightly better, but also waay too long. Bruce thinks his partner Hank is cheating at word games.

    View this video on YouTube

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