1. Unless it’s sex stories. Please share those.
2. Wait, does he have a date with twins? HOTT.
3. Well, yeah, don’t caress his ear hairs.
4. ONLY BORING WOMEN ARE EVER BORED.
5. Hey pal, tell your drunk as a skunk date to stop scratching my head.
6. Men don’t have “tears,” we call them eye sweat.
7. Pro tip, ladies: talk about sports, guns, and blowjobs.
8. Only carry gold monogrammed handkerchiefs — problem solved.
9. “Be ready to go when your date arrives” — LOL, never, amirite, gents?
- A second wave of bomb threats sent to Jewish community centers brought the number of locations threatened on Monday to 29.
- Trump accused Barack Obama of organizing recent protests against him and leaking information from the White House to the press.
- Accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers fessed up to the Oscars oops that caused "La La Land" to be named best picture instead of "Moonlight."
- Elon Musk announced that his SpaceX company will send two tourists around the moon by 2018 🚀🌝