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13 More Dispiriting Ad Rewrites From "Depressed Copywriter"

Including, a nice evisceration of one of those stupid John Travolta Breitling watch ads.

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1.

Moisturizers don't slow death (or aging, probably).

Moisturizers don't slow death (or aging, probably).

2.

Mission accomplished, women's mag ads.

Mission accomplished, women's mag ads.

3.

Stupid ad campaign, put in its place by Newcastle (link).

Stupid ad campaign, put in its place by Newcastle (link).

4.

Luxury watch ads are the fucking worst.

Luxury watch ads are the fucking worst.

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5.

And, the Patek Philippe ones are especially demoralizing.

And, the Patek Philippe ones are especially demoralizing.

6.

Ha.

Ha.

7.

Seriously Cadillac, S.T.F.U.

Seriously Cadillac, S.T.F.U.

8.

It's the truth. Sorry.

It's the truth. Sorry.

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9.

Hear that, asshats who wear shades on the subway?

Hear that, asshats who wear shades on the subway?

10.

A toast—to scar tissue!

A toast—to scar tissue!

11.

The state of mind of a serial killer must be bliss.

The state of mind of a serial killer must be bliss.

12.

Just for using the phrase "sweat session," that writer should be beaten.

Just for using the phrase "sweat session," that writer should be beaten.

13.

And you'll die alone. The end.

And you'll die alone. The end.

Depressed Copywriter is actually written by four depressed copywriters. Bookmark it.

Previously.