11 Stupid Valentine’s Day Ads
Let’s properly celebrate this wonderful holiday rooted in 2,000 year-old martyrdom — with lots of bad penis jokes.
1. Wurst
Wurst is a Bavarian restaurant and beer hall in Calgary.
There will be many men (and some women) begging their lovers to do anal for the first time on the 14th.
2. Fart By Mail
This does not appear to be a secret ad for Gas-X.
You can order one here (it costs $8.99).
Your fart is delivered in a pink envelope. You can either warn your lover with a printed message, or send it stealthily. When he/she opens the envelope, he/she is met with a “hilarious fart sound,” and a “heinous odor.”
3. Bud Light
Speaking of farts…
4. Summer’s Eve
Ladies, make sure your Down There is up to snuff for the BIG NIGHT.
5. Tampax (Italy)
It’s not perfectly clear, but sensitive Italian man appears to be praying to Mother Nature that…There Will Not Be Blood.
6. Nakshatra diamond jewelry (India)
If she was having her period, that would be a blood diamond.
7. Dick Smith Electronics
Dick’s often does erudite double dick entendre in its ads.
10. Ann Summers Lingerie
If you don’t figure out the heavy-handed knee-slapper of a joke in this commercial within 20 seconds, you’re an idiot.
11. McDonald’s (France)
And the winner is…
Yes, this was a real ad that ran in France.
- Former Israeli President Shimon Peres has died at 93. He was the country's longest-serving politician and statesman.
- Monday night's presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton was a horse show for undecided voters.
- And in a powerful note on her Facebook page, tennis star Serena Williams says she won't be silent about the police killings of black men.
