Get over the urge to fight your ex
Keep changes to a minimum
Look out for yourself
It is only by taking the time to care for yourself that you will have the mental and physical energy to support your children throughout this transition period. There is no doubt that divorce can be a tough time and some people tend to completely forget themselves. It might take some time to regain your self-esteem but it will help your children to cope if you manage your stress. Children definitely need the unwavering support and care of their parents and there is no better time to assure them than when so much is changing around them.
Keep communication lines open
It is difficult to keep speaking to someone who does not want to continue living under the same roof as you. The reality of the matter is that they will always be your children’s parent. It is normal to feel offended up to the point where one parent initiates a back and forth to their ex using their children. This only helps to fuel hate in the child’s mind and since they may not be able to dislodge themselves from you, they could resort to isolation. Keeping the communication between you and your former spouse civil by recording it is more constructive. Let each parent keep the other updated on events that concern larger extended family or school for the other to either confirm or update their own schedule.
Remain positive when discussing your ex
They may be young and even appear not to understand the science of relationships but children know it when one person speaks ill of another. The fact that you are going through a divorce does not necessarily mean that your former spouse is a bad person; remember you singled them out for marriage and they were once your best. Now that you have decided to end the marriage legally, all issues pertaining to custody, visitation rights or child support are best handled by the court. Trying to force your children to take sides will only cause them to be more unstable. During times when you really need to express your disappointment of your ex, speak to a trained therapist or community leader but never to your children who will forever have a deep emotional connection with both parents.
The main point that all the above tips echo is the need to prevent your children from falling under pressure during and after the divorce has been finalized. As a parent, your emotional wound might heal in months or even a couple of years but the trauma of a broken family may be your child’s burden to carry for the rest of their lives. Take time to study the impact the divorce is having on them, then tackle any arising issues regardless of how old they are.