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Foreigners React To Typical Argentine Things

Not everyone is a fan of Messi and mate.

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Argentina is a crazy, fun, sensational country, but it can be a bit confusing for foreigners.

We asked BuzzFeed's international staff to tell us how they felt based on traditional argentine images. These are their answers:

1. Mate.

Flickr: julianrod

What do you think this tastes like?

Marie (NY): Dust and earth and an aftertaste of tobacco. It looks like something you should inhale rather than taste.

Jessica (NY): It looks like a drink made out of grass and sawdust.

Hilary (London): It looks like half a pint of pot served in a half a coconut shell being poured from a hot drink urn. I'm not sure what it tastes like, but coffee mornings must be really wild in Argentina.

Sarah (Toronto): A tropical drink that you dropped in the forest.

Grace (NY): Oh, definitely woodchips.

2. Messi.

Gabriel Bouys / Getty Images

Who is this?

Daniela (NY): THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

Hillary (LA): Beckham of Buenos Aires.

Pepe (Mexico): The son of God and Goofy.

Monique (NY): A soccer player who is confused because he forgot the hand signals the team established earlier in practice.

Hilary (London): Clearly a footballer, but not sure who. He should be legally forced to do something about his hair though: you don't want a man with half a mullet representing your country.

3. Empanada.

Flickr: elbroka

How does this make you feel?

Anniely (NY): SO GOOD because it is an arepa and arepas are DOPE. I want it in my mouth right now.

Sheridan (LA): Um YUM. GET IN ME NOW. It represents everything I love in the world: Meat and bread. I'd leave my husband for this empanada, no joke.

Daniela (NY): It makes me feel like happiness comes in a half-moon shape and filled with meat.

Hilary (London): Sorry Argentina, but hold up. This is clearly a British delicacy known as a cornish pasty. You don't want to anger Cornwall residents by stealing it. They're a grumpy bunch.

Sarah (NY): Happy in my tummy

4. Fernet with Coke.

instagram.com

And this?

Alex (LA): I strongly feel that Coke should be left alone to shine.

Juliana (Sao Paulo): Probably drunk.

Luis (Mexico): Confused. Is it Coke? Is it alcohol? Is it both in one?

Lincoln (NY): A perfect drink for children!

Sheridan (LA): I don't know what's happening but my stomach is bubbling and I think I have to run to the bathroom. Something about this doesn't look right. Too sweet, too bubbly, NO THANKS.

5. Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, current President.

instagram.com

Who is this?

Marie (NY): A politician who somehow finds time to apply a shit tone of make-up.

Jessica (NY): #tbt from la Tigresa del Oriente?

Anniely (NY): Do real housewives of Argentina exist in Argentina?

Charlotte (LA): The first lady.

Sarah (NY): Some old performer diva everyone loves

Hilary (London): Probably the queen. Or a footballers wife. Or the Argentinian version of J.K. Rowling. People seem to really like her, despite her misguided decision to wear beige sequins.

Sarah (Toronto): Someone's mom trying to steal the spotlight.

Iran (Sao Paulo): Crazy President.

Grace (NY): The coolest pop band.

6. Classic argentine insult.

Conz Preti/BuzzFeed

What does this mean?*

Daniela (NY): "That your friend's sister went to the beach and lost her conch and when you found it on the sand you said "Your sister's conch!".

Hillary (LA): Fuck your sis?

Greta (LA): I'm an only daughter so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alex (SF): Something of my sister's that I'm not sure I want to know.

*It means "the pussy of your sister"

7. Alfajor made of maizena.

instagram.com

What do you think this tastes like?

Charlotte (LA): Dry and a little disappointing. They never taste as good as they look.

Sarah (NY): Sweet, sweet diabetes.

Lincoln (NY): Is this an Oreo on steroids? I'm intrigued. *bites lip* *winks seductively* *unbuttons blouse*

Sheridan (LA): There are too many different textures. Is it a cookie? Is it a cake? Why is there jam? Are there crumbs? Is that coconut? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

Grace (NY): Cheesecake with coconut?????? (Please let me be right)

8. Gilda, a cumbia signer who passed away in a tragic car accident and is now considered a saint.

cordobatimes.com

What do you think is happening here?

Marie (NY): An extra from Xena has ran away and settled in the middle of Patagonia where she picks flowers and talks to trees.

Alex (LA): This woman is marrying a horse, which I believe is or at least should be illegal.

Juliana (Sao Paulo): A videoclip!

Anniely (NY): Awkward wedding photo?

Pepe (Mexico): Cher is getting married to a horse.

Sarah (Toronto): Photo shoot before a Lana Del Rey concert.

9. And a very commonly used slang.

Conz Preti/BuzzFeed

What does this mean? *

Marie (NY): A handsome dude called Ludo.

Alex (LA): I think this is one of the characters from Inside Out.

Alex (SF): Balls.

Hilary (London): Boludo! It means bull-doo doo. It's an expression of disbelief. Like "Did you see she wore beige sequins? No, really." "BOLUDO"

Grace (NY): It's just the sound of someone burping

*It means idiot.

10. Uncooked BBQ.

instagram.com

What is this?

Adam (NY): My nightmares.

Luis (Mexico): Props from an episode of The Walking Dead.

Lincoln (NY): These are all the parts of the pig that you *don't* eat, right?

Sheridan (LA): No. No. NOOOOOOO. I draw the line at intestines. I don't even eat hot dogs!

Baxter (Mexico): Ugggghhh. But yuuuummmm. But ugggghhh, this photo.

11. Tango.

instagram.com

What are these two doing?

Baxter (Mexico): Sensuality from the 21st century.

Sarah (NY): Salsa dancing

Greta (LA): How can she dance with such a short and tight skirt?

Monique (NY): Bachata. Literally vertical sex with clothes on. For some reason they think it's acceptable to fornicate in front of a public audience.

Julia (NY): Tinder in Argentina is slightly more complicated - this is what swiping right looks like.

Hilary (London): Either the tango, the flamenco or the Macarena. Probably the latter.

Grace (NY): She's like, "My nose is cold!!" And he's like, "Don't worry. Nuzzle it in my neck."

12. The church of Maradona.

record.com.mx

What do you think this is?

Daniela (NY): When being a fan gets out of control.

Charlotte (LA): I mean, it looks like an ordinary church, but why is Dios spelled with the number 1? Is this some kind of youth-targeted church advertising?

Baxter (Mexico): Absolute proof that argentines are crazy.

Lincoln (NY): Definitely the pope's mansion.

Sheridan (LA): A church or museum to Maradona. It's only fitting considering the fact that he got a "hand" from God wink wink, nudge nudge.

13. Patagonia.

Flickr: douglucas

How do you feel about this?

Hillary (LA): It's confusing that it can be so cold in south america

Lincoln (NY): Meh. I've seen bigger.

Sarah (Toronto): I feel like I should be to Argentina ASAP. If not for the food and culture, then for the Instagrams.

Anup (London): I want to spend a weekend there and have Francis Mallmann whole-roast me some Andean Lamb.

Vicki (NY): Photoshopped probably.

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