1. THE FLUSH, BRUSH AND SPRAY Via images.teamsugar.com The FLUSH, BRUSH AND SPRAY is the essential tool in the Contagion toilet kit to destroying all evidence of your recent visit. 2. THE SLAMMER Via blogger.com THE SLAMMER is the sort of person who puts the toilet seat and lid down. We like SLAMMERS. 3. THE WALK OF SHAME Via imgur.com Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a FLUSH, BRUSH AND SPRAY. 4. THE COURTESY FLUSH Via i.chzbgr.com The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME and ensuring no remaining sediment to surprise an unsuspecting visitor. 5. THE TURD BURGLAR Via wordpress.com Someone who does not realise that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. 6. SHIRLEY TEMPLE Via tumblr.com A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. 7. CAMO-COUGH Via wordpress.com A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE. 8. HAVANA-OMELET Via img2.wikia.nocookie.net A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE. The use of a FLUSH, BRUSH AND SPRAY is essential to destroying all evidence. 9. THE MARY POPPINS Via wordpress.com Everyones favourite co-worker: cleans the seat, bins the used toilet roll, replaces it with a new roll and puts their moist paper towels in the bin. Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious! 10. THE AUNT BETTY Via nlgroup.co.uk A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever... Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An AUNT BETTY makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees!