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    30 Things All Soccer Players Understand

    Let's take a walk down memory lane...OH WAIT, I CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE SHIN SPLINTS.

    1. Aaaahhh, soccer. Good times.

    Whether you were only on your middle school JV team or you currently do it as a career, we can all reminisce.

    2. Or maybe you called it football. America apologizes, we all know in our hearts that makes more sense, but you can't just throw away something so well known.

    Whatcha gonna do? :/

    3. Let's cut to the chase- shinguards. No one is judging you, those things get RANK.

    Good luck getting it out, and making it STAY out XD

    4. And don't even get me started on your bag.

    Ain't no teacher want that thing sitting in their classroom all day so you don't have to carry it around for after-school soccer.

    5. Speaking of shin-related things...SHIN SPLINTS. CALFS ACHING. THE NEVER-ENDING SORENESS. Why me, God?

    Apparently when your legs feel like death you're supposed to stretch and ice, not just choke down Advil.

    6. You'll never forget the horror of suicides. Or getting those 50/50 ball punishments.

    *shivers* never again

    7. There's a good chance your parent or friend's parent coached your first team

    Because tennis and soccer are like, BASICALLY the same thing, right? No biggie.

    8. And you'll always have that respect for your childhood teammates

    So you're sophomores, and maybe you haven't been in a class together since the fourth grade, and maybe they're way more popular than you now, but they'll always help you out when you drop your books in the hall (eye contact not included).

    9. If you went to school with your rival teammates, bragging rights after the big game were awarded without question

    Teacher: "Kevin, can you answer this?"

    Kevin (your rival): "Yes miss, the answer is four."

    You whisper: "Wow, Kev, that's almost as many goals we CRUSHED you by yesterday hahahaha."

    10. The biggest skill you've improved is your cleat-donning speed

    Maybe your mom did it when you were kids, but it's been ten years, and now those sleeves are on and off before you can say "Obstruction!"

    11. Only one response to snotty refs, psycho-screamer parents and freak-out coaches:

    Please, no one likes you. Your child is hiding in shame.

    12. And those people who think American football and American soccer are *pretty much* the same sport.

    Who even ARE you??

    13. Juggling was a CONSTANT battle

    "You should be able to juggle your age"

    I will kick you. In the face.

    14. Playing soccer in gym class made a little bit of your soul die every day


    "With your feet, Jess. Feet."

    15. Tournaments were the ultimate bonding times

    Everybody playing categories in the pool, getting noise complaints because LET'S SAVE MONEY AND ALL STAY IN THE SAME ROOM, having mushy hotel bananas for breakfast

    16. That coach you loved but your friend hated, and vice versa

    "So he called you slow a few times, he was HONEST."

    "What'dya mean STRATEGY?? All we did was run LAPS!"

    *it tore you apart*

    17. Being that person who always lost the team socks

    I SWEAR I put them on my dresser, guys!!

    18. Before a game when you all figure out that you're playing THAT team, the #1 in the state team, the team that gave Lindsey whats-her-face a black eye, THEM.

    Giving a whole new meaning to, "We're screwed."

    19. Moving your hand so that jerk who shoved you can't high-five you after the game

    I don't want to catch your loser.

    20. Taking pride in your wall of tournament shirts, plastic medals and cheap trophies

    Every "Alabama Cup- 2007 Champions" engraving means so much to you.

    21. Watching your first real team fall apart was something you'll never let go.

    Putting away your old uniforms and photos was harder than you though it would be, but in the end, you know it's about the game, not the players.

    22. And you're realizing your coach was actually your best friend

    They'll always be a part of you, and you'll always try to reflect their values on every field you play on

    23. But everything got better when you found a new team that you loved, too

    No one can replace that bond, but they'll do.

    24. Unless you're a goalie, people get confused when they throw something at you, and you catch it with your foot.


    25. Trying to find the coolest cleats

    Not like they won't all give you foot cramps from hell, but MOM THEY'RE GOLD AND SILVER COME ON.

    26. Having to carry that GIGANTIC goal across the whole field for a scrimmage in practice

    Because teamwork.

    27. You either loved watching soccer or hated it.

    -"WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE? I WANT TO BE *insert famous soccer player's name here cough cough it's Messi every damn time cough* WHEN I GROW UP!!"

    -"Uhh...the good one?"

    28. We all had that one friend who got hurt and could never play again

    You couldn't imagine being in their shoes.

    29. Penalty kicks: the stress, the excitement

    Goalies: can I get an AMEN

    30. But in the end, soccer/football is LIFE, and you wouldn't trade those years for the world.

    Keep kicking, my friend.

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