We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their craziest Black Friday horror stories. Here are some of the best responses!
1. The face-macing:
"I witnessed two little old ladies mace each other over $2 towels."
2. This kid who was having none of it:
"I remember once at like 1 a.m., I saw this kid (probably 6 or 7) pull his pants down and poop on the floor at Kohl's because his mother wouldn't leave the line."
3. The dangerous deal:
"My sister got punched in the face over a $2.50 food chopper."
4. The shit show:
"I saw a lady squat and take a shit outside of a Walmart in Dallas. Evidently her place in line was more valuable than her dignity. I haven't done a Black Friday since."
5. The sharp offense:
"No kidding, I saw a super nice grandma-looking lady break out a switchblade over a Hatchimal."
6. This old lady who's still got it:
"While taking a break in the food court, I once saw a teenager sprint out of a Game Stop carrying the newest Xbox. Right as he got to the exit of the mall, a little old lady in her nineties tripped the guy and he fell flat on his face. The whole food court erupted in applause."
7. This instant karma:
"When I was 14, this dude shoved me and the woman next to me in order to get to a video game. The woman he shoved turned out to be a cop and he was immediately arrested for disorderly conduct."
8. The scooter scuffle:
"I saw an elderly woman ram her electric scooter into a friend of mine to get to a TV. He had four broken ribs, a sprained knee, and a bruised ego. We thought it was hilarious."
9. The scheming family:
"I once saw a team of children steal things from people's carts. When people weren't looking they would grab any electronics they could find in the cart and run it back to their mom."
10. The tactless toss:
"I once saw a father literally toss his child into the air and onto a cardboard display so he could better reach the electronics."
11. The aggressive hair whip:
"I once saw a woman try to cut the checkout line, and another woman grabbed her by the hair and whipped her into a display stand. Ouch!"
12. The pillow-pregnancy:
"I saw some lady quickly stuff a pillow up her shirt and pretend that she was going into labor. Apparently, while she pretended, she sent somebody to go and fetch the hot ticket items. It got real awkward once the paramedics arrived."
13. The purse snatcher:
"Three years ago I was waiting in line at Kohl's. I finally clumped in with the rest of the crowd and saw this lady grab the purse of someone who was in front of her and toss it back toward the end of the line just so she could get closer to the front door."
14. This literal hit and run:
"I was parking my car when suddenly a man in all black bounced off the hood of my car. Without stopping, he just gave me the finger and kept running towards the mall. I. Was. Shook."
15. The assembly line:
"One year, a group of people created a relay line and were throwing crockpots, blenders, toasters, whatever over everyone else's head to one another. I almost got a concussion from the flying toaster."
16. This confusing cosplay brawl:
"I once saw two dudes dressed as Mario and Luigi fighting over an Xbox."
17. This woman who has a low bar for what constitutes an emergency:
"There was this woman who actually CALLED THE COPS on a husband who joined his wife in line. She then started screaming 'LINE JUMPER!' as loud as she could. It was out of control."
18. The "helpful" mother:
"My own mother would wander around stores and knock merchandise out of people's arms if she saw them being rude to employees. She thought she was being helpful."
19. And finally, the family that just said "nope" to the whole Black Friday thing:
"My family once saw a woman stab someone with an icepick in a parking lot. Needless to say we decided to just go home after that."
Note: these submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity