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The Definitive Ranking Of Every U.S. President By Order Of Sexiness

The ballots are in.

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43. Martin Van Buren

The least sexy sideburns. The least sexy President. No thank you.
Via history.com

The least sexy sideburns. The least sexy President. No thank you.

42. John Quincy Adams

More awful sideburns PLUS A RATTAIL? Gross.
Via history.com

More awful sideburns PLUS A RATTAIL? Gross.

41. William Howard Taft

There isn't a lot that is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub. In fact, nothing is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub.
Via history.com

There isn't a lot that is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub. In fact, nothing is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub.

40. James Buchanan

Sadly his sexy name does not apply to his looks. He’s an old man with baby face. And that ain’t attractive.
Via history.com

Sadly his sexy name does not apply to his looks. He’s an old man with baby face. And that ain’t attractive.

39. Chester A. Arthur

His failings as a president were not limited only to his reformation attempts, but also his facial hair.
Via history.com

His failings as a president were not limited only to his reformation attempts, but also his facial hair.

38. Herbert Hoover

He crashed the Stock Market to its lowest point in history, and yet his sex appeal was always lower.
Via history.com

He crashed the Stock Market to its lowest point in history, and yet his sex appeal was always lower.

37. Grover Cleveland

Grover Cleveland is like the gross ex-boyfriend you just can't stay away from...
Via history.com

Grover Cleveland is like the gross ex-boyfriend you just can't stay away from...

36. Bill Clinton

"I would not have sexual relations with this president."
Via history.com

"I would not have sexual relations with this president."

35. Gerald Ford

He looks like your friends dad. Your friends really unattractive dad.
Via history.com

He looks like your friends dad. Your friends really unattractive dad.

34. Millard Fillmore

I would not want him to fill me. Sexually speaking, of course.
Via history.com

I would not want him to fill me. Sexually speaking, of course.

33. Zachary Taylor

Dull President with even duller looks.
Via history.com

Dull President with even duller looks.

32. Dwight D. Eisenhower

"I like Ike... Just not the way he looks."
Via history.com

"I like Ike... Just not the way he looks."

31. Calvin Coolidge

Pretty sure his slogan was, "Keep cool with Coolidge, the man who looks like a Gringotts Goblin."
Via history.com

Pretty sure his slogan was, "Keep cool with Coolidge, the man who looks like a Gringotts Goblin."

30. George W. Bush

Most people would agree he is not a sexy President. Unless you ask Florida, which can't make up its mind.
Via history.com

Most people would agree he is not a sexy President. Unless you ask Florida, which can't make up its mind.

29. William McKinley

He promoted American industry by raising tariffs, but that did not raise our opinion of his looks.
Via history.com

He promoted American industry by raising tariffs, but that did not raise our opinion of his looks.

28. John Tyler

He fathered more children than any other President in U.S. history, and we really can't figure out why.
Via history.com

He fathered more children than any other President in U.S. history, and we really can't figure out why.

27. William Henry Harrison

He may not last long... But you just tell your friends it was a good time anyway.
Via history.com

He may not last long... But you just tell your friends it was a good time anyway.

26. George H. W. Bush

The H. actually stands for, "Hey! You're pretty good looking!"
Via history.com

The H. actually stands for, "Hey! You're pretty good looking!"

25. John Adams

He spent a lot of time in France which means he's sure to know the meaning of Ménage à trois.
Via history.com

He spent a lot of time in France which means he's sure to know the meaning of Ménage à trois.

24. James Madison

He wrote the Bill of Rights, so he is the right man for you.
Via history.com

He wrote the Bill of Rights, so he is the right man for you.

23. Woodrow Wilson

"He Kept Us Out of War!" ... So we could spend more time in bed.
Via history.com

"He Kept Us Out of War!" ... So we could spend more time in bed.

22. Jimmy Carter

Good news! Carter is still kickin' it at age 90. Which means we all still have a chance.
Via history.com

Good news! Carter is still kickin' it at age 90. Which means we all still have a chance.

21. James Monroe

The definition of a Colonial DILF.
Via history.com

The definition of a Colonial DILF.

20. Warren G. Harding

With a jawline like that, you best believe people were hard for Harding.
Via history.com

With a jawline like that, you best believe people were hard for Harding.

19. Thomas Jefferson

This man had it going on! Maybe not by todays standards, but he definitely had it going on in a revolutionary kind of way.
Via history.com

This man had it going on! Maybe not by todays standards, but he definitely had it going on in a revolutionary kind of way.

18. Franklin D. Roosevelt

He made those wheels look good.
Via history.com

He made those wheels look good.

17. James A. Garfield

He was not a frontrunner for the Oval Office at first, but his good looks won him the ticket.
Via history.com

He was not a frontrunner for the Oval Office at first, but his good looks won him the ticket.

16. Rutherford B. Hayes

No one would behave around B. Hayes.
Via history.com

No one would behave around B. Hayes.

15. Richard M. Nixon

It should be illegal to be this good looking. But when the President does it, that means it's not illegal.
Via history.com

It should be illegal to be this good looking. But when the President does it, that means it's not illegal.

14. George Washington

You just never forget your first...
Via history.com

You just never forget your first...

13. Andrew Johnson

Men in Black 4 revolves around Tommy Lee Jones going back in time to be a U.S. President.
Via history.com

Men in Black 4 revolves around Tommy Lee Jones going back in time to be a U.S. President.

12. James K. Polk

We wouldn't mind giving James a poke, if ya' know what I mean.
Via history.com

We wouldn't mind giving James a poke, if ya' know what I mean.

11. Lyndon B. Johnson

Civil Rights are sexy. And so is that stare.
Via history.com

Civil Rights are sexy. And so is that stare.

10. Harry Truman

He also looks like your friends dad. But the really sexy one.
Via history.com

He also looks like your friends dad. But the really sexy one.

9. Andrew Jackson

Sure, he may have been a complete genocidal maniac. But the man had good hair.
Via history.com

Sure, he may have been a complete genocidal maniac. But the man had good hair.

8. Abraham Lincoln

This man was so sexy they carved his face into a goddamn mountain!
Via history.com

This man was so sexy they carved his face into a goddamn mountain!

7. Theodore Roosevelt

We all want to see how big a stick he was carrying... wink wink.
Via history.com

We all want to see how big a stick he was carrying... wink wink.

6. Benjamin Harrison

Before there was the ad campaign, Benjamin Harrison was the Most Interesting Man in the World.
Via history.com

Before there was the ad campaign, Benjamin Harrison was the Most Interesting Man in the World.

5. Franklin Pierce

Many may not know his name, but his sexy portrait will PIERCE your heart.
Via history.com

Many may not know his name, but his sexy portrait will PIERCE your heart.

4. Ronald Reagan

The man was a movie star for a reason. Mmmmmmm that smolder.
Via history.com

The man was a movie star for a reason. Mmmmmmm that smolder.

3. Barack Obama

Bring about as much Change as you want, Barack. Just as long as your looks stay this sexy forever.
AP Charles Dharapak / Via sayanythingblog.com

Bring about as much Change as you want, Barack. Just as long as your looks stay this sexy forever.

2. John F. Kennedy

Marilyn Monroe knew what was up.
Getty Images CBS Photo Archive / Via huffingtonpost.com

Marilyn Monroe knew what was up.

1. Ulysses S. Grant

Not only did he win the Civil War, but he won our hearts. Those eyes just scream, "Hey, babe. You're my one and only... You, and America."
Via history.com

Not only did he win the Civil War, but he won our hearts. Those eyes just scream, "Hey, babe. You're my one and only... You, and America."

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