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    The Definitive Ranking Of Every U.S. President By Order Of Sexiness

    The ballots are in.

    43. Martin Van Buren


    The least sexy sideburns. The least sexy President. No thank you.

    42. John Quincy Adams


    More awful sideburns PLUS A RATTAIL? Gross.

    41. William Howard Taft


    There isn't a lot that is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub. In fact, nothing is sexy about getting stuck in a bathtub.

    40. James Buchanan


    Sadly his sexy name does not apply to his looks. He’s an old man with baby face. And that ain’t attractive.

    39. Chester A. Arthur


    His failings as a president were not limited only to his reformation attempts, but also his facial hair.

    38. Herbert Hoover


    He crashed the Stock Market to its lowest point in history, and yet his sex appeal was always lower.

    37. Grover Cleveland


    Grover Cleveland is like the gross ex-boyfriend you just can't stay away from...

    36. Bill Clinton


    "I would not have sexual relations with this president."

    35. Gerald Ford


    He looks like your friends dad. Your friends really unattractive dad.

    34. Millard Fillmore


    I would not want him to fill me. Sexually speaking, of course.

    33. Zachary Taylor


    Dull President with even duller looks.

    32. Dwight D. Eisenhower


    "I like Ike... Just not the way he looks."

    31. Calvin Coolidge


    Pretty sure his slogan was, "Keep cool with Coolidge, the man who looks like a Gringotts Goblin."

    30. George W. Bush


    Most people would agree he is not a sexy President. Unless you ask Florida, which can't make up its mind.

    29. William McKinley


    He promoted American industry by raising tariffs, but that did not raise our opinion of his looks.

    28. John Tyler


    He fathered more children than any other President in U.S. history, and we really can't figure out why.

    27. William Henry Harrison


    He may not last long... But you just tell your friends it was a good time anyway.

    26. George H. W. Bush


    The H. actually stands for, "Hey! You're pretty good looking!"

    25. John Adams


    He spent a lot of time in France which means he's sure to know the meaning of Ménage à trois.

    24. James Madison


    He wrote the Bill of Rights, so he is the right man for you.

    23. Woodrow Wilson


    "He Kept Us Out of War!" ... So we could spend more time in bed.

    22. Jimmy Carter


    Good news! Carter is still kickin' it at age 90. Which means we all still have a chance.

    21. James Monroe


    The definition of a Colonial DILF.

    20. Warren G. Harding


    With a jawline like that, you best believe people were hard for Harding.

    19. Thomas Jefferson


    This man had it going on! Maybe not by todays standards, but he definitely had it going on in a revolutionary kind of way.

    18. Franklin D. Roosevelt


    He made those wheels look good.

    17. James A. Garfield


    He was not a frontrunner for the Oval Office at first, but his good looks won him the ticket.

    16. Rutherford B. Hayes


    No one would behave around B. Hayes.

    15. Richard M. Nixon


    It should be illegal to be this good looking. But when the President does it, that means it's not illegal.

    14. George Washington


    You just never forget your first...

    13. Andrew Johnson


    Men in Black 4 revolves around Tommy Lee Jones going back in time to be a U.S. President.

    12. James K. Polk


    We wouldn't mind giving James a poke, if ya' know what I mean.

    11. Lyndon B. Johnson


    Civil Rights are sexy. And so is that stare.

    10. Harry Truman


    He also looks like your friends dad. But the really sexy one.

    9. Andrew Jackson


    Sure, he may have been a complete genocidal maniac. But the man had good hair.

    8. Abraham Lincoln


    This man was so sexy they carved his face into a goddamn mountain!

    7. Theodore Roosevelt


    We all want to see how big a stick he was carrying... wink wink.

    6. Benjamin Harrison


    Before there was the ad campaign, Benjamin Harrison was the Most Interesting Man in the World.

    5. Franklin Pierce


    Many may not know his name, but his sexy portrait will PIERCE your heart.

    4. Ronald Reagan


    The man was a movie star for a reason. Mmmmmmm that smolder.

    3. Barack Obama

    AP Charles Dharapak / Via

    Bring about as much Change as you want, Barack. Just as long as your looks stay this sexy forever.

    2. John F. Kennedy

    Getty Images CBS Photo Archive / Via

    Marilyn Monroe knew what was up.

    1. Ulysses S. Grant


    Not only did he win the Civil War, but he won our hearts. Those eyes just scream, "Hey, babe. You're my one and only... You, and America."

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