9 Things NOT to Do When Jet Skiing Down the Mississippi River

You would think these go without saying, but Kurt Braunohler just did almost all of them.

1. Jet ski down the Mississippi River.

2. Officiate a wedding.

3. Run out of gas.

4. Run out of gas AGAIN.

5. Get stranded at a nightmare factory.

6. Forget the rash guard.

7. Get electrocuted.

8. Get on this guy’s bad side.

9. Announce when you “christen” your wetsuit. (Ew.)

10. If you’re gonna do something THIS stupid, at least do it for a good reason:

To send 500 goats and 1,000 chickens to African families in need, Kurt Braunohler needs help. Find out more about the cause and donate here.

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