I Had An Abortion As A Young Woman So I Know How Important Choice Is
Only women themselves can decide what is best for their bodies--and lives.
When I was 21 years old, my partner and I had to make a difficult decision.
We were young and we were pregnant. We worked hard but our jobs didn't pay great. We had just enough to get by with the two of us. Just. We often scraped like mad to get the rent and bills together week to week.
At the time I worked as a part time cleaner in a hospital and my partner worked in a factory. These were the kinds of jobs we'd grown up with in our futures coming from working class backgrounds. While we were happy to have work, we knew that we could never provide the things a child needs for a full, fulfilling life and to have the opportunities that at the time, we didn't have.
We didn't make the choice lightly, but we had no doubt that we had made the right decision. Now, 35 years later, Victor and I are married and we never did have children of our own. That was another choice that was ours to make, and we don't regret it; our life together has been full of love and adventure and great strides in both our careers, which have made us both incredibly happy and we feel so fortunate to have had the chance to make our lives meaningful. Besides, it's terrific fun playing aunt and uncle to the enormous number of children in our friend's and larger family's lives.
The most important part of anyone's life is the freedom to make our own choices; it is a freedom that must be protected at all costs.
It was 1978 when we had to make our decision, and attitudes towards abortion were very different to what they are now. I came from a Catholic family, and there were layers of guilt that went along with what we had decided to do that didn't help me emotionally; these social pressures made talking about what had happened incredibly, incredibly difficult and it was something that I could only talk to my closest friends with, if I chose to talk to anyone at all. I lived with a guilt that I had no reason to feel for a long time afterwards, and this lead to a period of soul-searching for me about the nature of my faith.
What I came to realize was that no one has any place in dictating how people—women in particular—should live their lives, or claim control over anyone else's body. These decisions are ours to make alone. Because when you are making choices about if or not to be a parent, you are no longer only thinking about yourself; you are thinking about the future of another human life who will live with you in the world as someone who had no choice over the circumstances of their birth.
I had grown up in a very chaotic household because my father suffered from bipolar disorder. As a result we lived perilously near to poverty for most of my upbringing, and our home was often a difficult place. This lead me to grow into an adult who was keenly aware of the effects of parenting on children. I knew that I would never make decisions that could negatively impact the lives of my children—I had lived in less than ideal conditions and it wasn't something I would ever want for anyone else.
Having lived in poverty, I could never in good conscience bring a child into the world when my partner and I could not provide properly for them. It was not just a choice about us, it was about someone else. Hindsight has only reinforced for us that we did the right thing, and that we never needed to justify our choices to anyone but each other, and we supported each other wholly; it was what made us such a strong team together.
When people make the decision to end their pregnancy, there are myriad reasons why they have come to that decision. These are responsible decisions. They are difficult decisions. But they are vital decisions, and it's no one's business outside of your relationship what you choose to do within that relationship. Neither is it anyone else's business what a woman does with her own body. Women are smart and they can make complex decisions for themselves.
I know this firsthand. It's why that in my job as a local member I will fight for that right for others for as long as I am serving my community.
Footscray resident Colleen Hartland represents the Western Metropolitan Region for the Victorian Greens.