If "Seinfeld" Was Set In Toronto, Here's What Would Happen

A (Canadian) show about nothing.

1. Jerry, Kramer, and George would be native Torontonians.

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Jerry and George would still be outer-burrow buddies who'd met during their school days in Richmond Hill. Elaine would hail from an affluent Montreal suburb before heading to Toronto to pursue her publishing career and perfect her dance moves.

2. The diner would be on College Street.

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Rather than its New York location of West 112th Street and Broadway near Columbia University, the fictional watering hole for Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine would be at College and Bathurst, near the University of Toronto. A bizarro Sneaky Dee's, perhaps?

3. George would work for the Toronto Blue Jays.

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Rather than working for the New York Yankees, George would secure a cushy position in the Blue Jays organization. The SkyDome would also be controversially renamed the Steinbrenner Centre.

4. The "Chinese Restaurant" episode would actually be "Sunday Brunch."

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Instead of running down the clock waiting for dinner in the Season 2 episode, the "Seinfeld Four" would slowly go mad waiting for brunch in Leslieville.

5. The infamous TTC streetcar would get its own episode.

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Season 3's "The Subway" would instead follow various ill-fated streetcar journeys. Jerry would fall asleep on the 501 and wake up at Neville Park, and Elaine would miss a wedding due to the dreaded short turn.

6. Elaine would lose "The Contest" over Justin Trudeau.

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Often cited as one of the best episodes of the series, Elaine would lose the titular contest in Season 4 after a run-in with future PM Justin Trudeau. What makes Elaine no longer the "Queen of Her Castle"? According to her, "It was JT."

7. Jerry's parents would move to Vancouver Island.

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Instead of moving to a Floridian retirement community, Morty and Helen Seinfeld would move to the milder West Coast climate. Elaine and Jerry would get trapped for an extended stay after missing the last ferry out.

8. Kramer would be a seat filler at the Canadian Screen Awards.

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While seat-filling for a nominee in the Season 8 episode "The Summer of George," Kramer would accidentally receive (and accept) a Canadian Screen Award.

9. Jerry would do sets at Comedy Bar.

Instagram: @comedybarto / Via instagram.com

Jerry's pithy observations would open and close the episodes from the main stage of Bloor Street's subterranean comedy venue.

10. "The Hamptons" episode would be renamed "Prince Edward County."

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The episode that redefined "breathtaking" and "shrinkage" would take place in Torontonian's favourite Instagram backdrop #PEC.

11. The Chocolate Babka would be Craig's Cookies.

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The must-have dinner party dessert for Jerry would be Craig's Cookies. When the last batch sold out, he would be forced to bring store-bought cookies. (The loaf of rye in the other food-centric Seinfeld episode would revolve around an Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake.)

12. Newman would work for the TTC.

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Newman! Jerry's nemesis would still be a public servant but would trade in the postal service for Toronto's public transit. 

13. A chicken shack would still invade Jerry and Kramer's neighbourhood.

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In Season 8, the neon light from the newly opened Dave's Hot Chicken would cause Jerry and Kramer to swap apartments. Jerry would finally crack when the GTA-ers started double-parking out front.

14. Jerry's girlfriends would be played by a string of Canadian starlets.

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Jerry's roster of famously beautiful and short-lived paramours would include Annie Murphy (the one with "Man Hands"), Rachel McAdams (the one with "Toilet Breath"), Sandra Oh (the one he calls "Schmoopie"), and Neve Campbell (the virgin).

15. The last episode would still be controversial.

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In the much-hyped series finale, the jury would still find Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer guilty of criminal indifference...for throwing chairs off a condo balcony.

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