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1. A sheet of stick-on sound dampeners so you don't have to worry about waking up your roommates when you find yourself opening and closing cabinets for a midnight snack.
2. A Scalpmaster shampoo brush that'll give your scalp the deepest cleaning of its flakey existence. (Bye forever, dandruff!)
3. A set of wine-stopper condoms for a tongue-in-cheek way to keep your wine fresh.
4. A pack of acne patches that work to minimize inflammation and redness with lightning speed.
5. A grill scrubber for removing stubborn grease and grime without breaking a sweat.
6. A 2-inch blind-spot mirror that attaches to your rear-view mirror so changing lanes on the freeway is slightly less stress-inducing.
7. A tangle-free cord organizer, if you're starting to feel like you're wasting away your life fastidiously unknotting electronics.
8. A long-lasting TubShroom that'll catch all your hairs — more than you knew were on your body, even — and save you the nightmare of having to snake your drain.
9. A pack of gold snail hydrogel eye patches designed to reduce the appearance of dark circles and dryness after just 30 minutes of use.
10. A "blue apple" freshness extender that'll save you big bucks on your difficult-to-preserve produce.
11. A bottle-emptying valve you can use for kitchen and bathroom products alike to get every last bit out (and, in turn, save yourself time and money).
12. A Tile Mate tracking device that will tell you via app whether your misplaced keys are hiding underneath your couch cushion (phew!) or are currently en route to a Panera in a town you've never heard of (no god please no).
13. A terracotta bear friend you can toss in your brown sugar to keep your supply soft and tasting fresh.
14. Keepons that attach to your glasses to stop them from slipping down your nose every five minutes.
15. A grout pen for effortlessly restoring your tiles so they'll look brand spankin' new in no time.
16. A set of reusable sealing food clips that attach easily to any bag so you don't have to transfer it to another container.
17. A bike-chain fidget toy for reducing stress and anxiety while increasing overall focus.
18. A pack of magnetic key hooks that'll eliminate the need to drill into the wall (or call in a pro).
19. And a trusty washer machine cleaner for zapping the musty, unappealing odors that accumulate over time.
Some reviews in this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.