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1. A 2-inch blind-spot mirror that attaches to your rear-view mirror so changing lanes on the freeway will be slightly less stress-inducing.
2. A terracotta bear friend you can toss in your brown sugar to keep your supply soft and tasting fresh.
3. A trusty washer machine cleaner for zapping the musty, unappealing odors that accumulate over time.
4. A sheet of stick-on sound dampeners so you don't have to worry about waking up your roommates when you find yourself opening and closing cabinets for a midnight snack.
5. A Scalpmaster shampoo brush that'll give your scalp the deepest cleaning of its flakey existence. (Bye forever, dandruff!)
6. A set of wine-stopper condoms for a tongue-in-cheek way to keep your wine fresh.
7. A pack of acne patches that'll work to minimize inflammation and redness with lightning speed.
8. A grill scrubber for removing stubborn grease and grime without breaking a sweat.
9. A long-lasting TubShroom that'll catch all your hairs — more than you knew were on your body, even — and save you the nightmare of having to snake your drain.
10. A tangle-free cord organizer, if you're starting to feel like you're wasting away your life fastidiously unknotting electronics.
11. A pack of gold snail hydrogel eye patches designed to reduce the appearance of dark circles and dryness after just 30 minutes of use.
12. A bottle-emptying valve you can use for kitchen and bathroom products alike to get every last bit out (and, in turn, save yourself time and money).
13. A "blue apple" freshness extender that'll save you big bucks on your difficult-to-preserve produce.
14. A Tile Mate tracking device that will tell you via app whether your misplaced keys are hiding underneath your couch cushion (phew!) or are currently en route to a Panera in a town you've never heard of (no god please no).
15. Keepons that attach to your glasses to stop them from slipping down your nose every five minutes.
16. A grout pen for effortlessly restoring your tiles so they'll look brand spankin' new in no time.
17. A bike-chain fidget toy for reducing stress and anxiety while increasing overall focus.
18. A pack of magnetic key hooks that'll eliminate the need to drill into the wall (or call in a pro).
Some reviews in this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.