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1. A recipe book packed with tons of dill-icious pickle entrees.
2. A Pickle of the Month subscription for the person with a refined pickle palate.
3. A teeny enamel pin that makes a big statement (the big statement is that pickles are good).
4. A pickle dishcloth to showcase the glory of pickles in all shapes and sizes.
5. A necklace with a mini jar attached so you can accessorize your affinity for cukes.
6. A DIY fermentation kit to put your culinary curiosities to good use.
7. A plush pickle whose cuteness simply cannot be contained to a jar.
8. A pickle-tiled comforter that puts the comfort food in comforter sheets.
9. A pickle-shaped cookie cutter to bring the focus back to the real MVP.
10. A typographic print that'll read your mind with stunning accuracy.
11. A pack of pickle bandages for a pickle-me-up when you're in pain.
12. A musical "Pass The Pickle" game — one of the rare occasions in which you'd ever pass up a perfectly good pickle.
13. A pickle family magnet set that deserves a spot on your fridge more than Aunt Linda's holiday card (sorry, Linda!!!).
14. A Pickle Rick pocket tee for Rick & Morty heads.
15. A book that offers a modern spin on classic French preserving techniques.
16. A glass-blown ornament so you can start a very important Christmas tradition.
17. A stress-relieving putty with a very alarming name.
18. A dill-pickle-scented Shrek bubble bar you'll accidentally fall in love with.
19. A whole dang gallon of dill juice that'll require some dill-igent drinking.
20. Or a pack of pickle shots for the person who's always in the mood for a pickleback (slash just really wants their cramps to be gone).
21. A greeting card that is both endearing and profoundly dark.
22. A pair of conversation-starting earrings. ("Do you like pickles?" "Yes.")
23. A pack of pickle-adorned lighters that'll spark joy (I didn't read Marie Kondo).
24. A vintage Heinz pickle pin that's tasteful and...tasty?
25. A pickle pipe so you can stay as cool as a cuke.
26. A trio pack of farm pickles for a unique tasting experience you can't get at your local market.
27. A pickle soap, if you've always wanted to rub a pickle on your body.
28. And an inflatable pool noodle, because — who cares if summer is over? — where there's a pickle, there's a way.
Off to eat a pickle, byeeee.
The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.