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1. A mini food processor that will help you achieve perfection with your homemade sauces, hummuses, and even smoothies.
2. A stainless steel fish turner with slots that has me finally feeling confident in my seafood prep abilities. (Not fishing for compliments here.)
3. A 10-tray fruit dehydrator for making an easy, delicious snack.
4. A multitool that might honestly serve more functions in life than I do?? I need a moment to process.
5. A handy spill stopper so you don't have to worry about leaving the stovetop unattended for a few minutes (I repeat, FEW).
6. A spill-proof digital food scale that will give you the culinary confidence — but unfortunately not the hair — of Guy Fieri.
7. A dishwasher-safe cauliflower chopper to make homemade cauliflower rice easier than ever.
8. A rapid egg cooker, which prepares six eggs in any manner your heart desires — hard-, medium-, and soft-boiled eggs, two poached eggs, scrambled eggs, you name it.
9. A countertop garden and herbs seed kit so you can always have a fresh supply of basil and mint awaiting your return from work.
10. A literal smoking gun for infusing any food (or alcoholic beverage, for that matter) with a smokey flavor — no heat required.
11. An Instant Pot that [shouts from nearest mountain top] has seven different uses to make your life so much easier.
12. A clip-on colander because you — unlike this handy gadget — shouldn't have to strain yourself to get food on the table.
13. An avocado slicer that'll remove pits with one quick twist, so you don't have to worry about avocado hand.
14. A juicer and zester so dealing with citrus fruits isn't a sticky mess (and you can regain your zest for life).
15. A professional cream whipper you can, for extra credit, do some fancy piping with.
16. A nonstick and dual-sided omelet maker for producing tasty omelets that, for once, aren't Fail Blog material.
17. An easy-to-use pot that'll allow you to cook rice and steam vegetables at the same time. Also: It can be used to make oatmeal, chili, and soup!
18. A 4.5-qt. KitchenAid stand mixer that won't take up too much space on your cramped countertops.
19. A Bluetooth-enabled sous vide precision cooker to make sure your meats are perfectly cooked every time.
20. A vacuum sealing system so you can keep your produce and meats fresh for five times longer. It's also sous vide-safe!
21. A vertical waffle maker that'll make you wonder why all waffle makers aren't designed this way.
22. And a vegetable spiralizer, because if you're not eating zoodles you're doing it wrong.
Me getting word that you prepared three home-cooked meals in 2018.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.