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2. A pillow massager with heat he can use when he's stuck in traffic after an especially long day at work.
3. The recently released Kindle Paperwhite for the bookish dad (who is potentially also accident prone).
5. A sleek amenity kit for the always-traveling-for-business dad who is one sleepless flight away from becoming Larry David.
6. A brushed-twill baseball cap so he can hat tip his actual favorite child, the Volvo stationwagon.
7. A DIY hot sauce kit for the dad who should really just be making his own condiments at the rate he offers his feedback to restaurant servers.
8. A quality record player if you want to turn the tables on your dad and gift him a piece of his youth.
9. And to go with that: Bruce Springsteen's newest vinyl box set (10xLPs spanning1987-1996) for the dad who only answers to one Boss.
10. A T-shirt that'll pay homage to the bone-chilling blue screen of death — classic techie-dad humor he'll surely appreciate.
11. A Philips sunrise simulation alarm clock for the dad who's forgotten there's an alternative to being jolted awake by a grating beep sound every morning.
13. An acrylic Squatty Potty, because he's your number one and you wish him nothing but the best for his number twos.
14. A pair of Dr. Martens for the cool dad who will remind you he was repping this footwear brand ages before Hypebeast was a thing.
15. An indoor herb garden with an LED light kit that'll give him something to rave about, and/or eat, at the next family dinner.
16. A hiker subscription box for the dad who likes to hit the trails — but never before packing an awe-inspiring variety of organic granola bars.
19. A wine saver with two vacuum stoppers so any leisurely drinker dad can hold onto his precious grapes for as long as he pleases.
20. A pair of sworn-by performance Bluetooth headphones, perfect for the dad who can't go a day without his morning jog.
21. Michael Chabon's heartwarming essay collection Pops: Fatherhood in Pieces sure to get him a little verklempt with its reflections on what it means to be a dad.
22. A Bluetooth-enabled sous vide precision cooker, because nothing gets a dad reeling quite like some perfectly cooked meats and/or veggies.
24. And a 2019 New Yorker cartoon calendar so your high-brow dad can start every day with a chuckle.
Is your dad ready for the quality gifts that are in store for him? No he is not.
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.